Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best

[Skyefire]

I'm supposed to be receiving notifications of every new post in this thread, but I haven't been, that's why I've missed a few. I don't really remember much of Unforgiven 2004, reading about how Stevie Richards vs Tyson Tomko came about you'd think that match would go about 2-3 minutes tops. I wasn't really aware of Jericho vs Christian until it was put out as part of the Ladder Match DVD and was wowed by it. Yeah, that whole Lita-Matt Hardy-Kane angle was totally f'ed up. Lita slept with Kane (when and why who knows) gets pregnant by him, is forced to marry him because he beat Matt Hardy in a match (two men fighting to control a woman can marry, I wonder who came up with that one *cough* Vince *cough*). Then after she loses the baby thanks to Snitsky all of a sudden she loves Kane, until that is she turns on him for Edge. How can they turn her into a babyface again? So then WWE decides it's time to move forward with a fresh young World Heavyweight Champion...aaaaand he drops the belt to Triple H (ugh-gain). At least in 2005 they didn't drop the ball with new champions.

I'm going to come out and say it, WWE dropped the ball on Big Show. He debuts as this monster enforcer for The Corporation, soon turns babyface feuding with the corporation, turns heel aligning with The Undertaker, turns babyface again after his father dies, finally gets a PPV title match and wins the WWE Championship as a last minute replacement for Austin but doesn't feel like a main eventer. His first, and only PPV title defense is against Big Bossman, then later turns heel again heading into WrestleMania 2000. Four turns in one year. With Rock vs Austin, I believe it was Austin who said he prefers that match over the match they had a month earlier at WrestleMania. And how many times in 1998-2000 was a McMahon the guest referee for a major title match. Seems like quite a few.

So, I missed not one, but two Bret Hart 5-Star matches. I, for one, prefer this match over the match with Bulldog the next year. Partially because this match has a faster pace. I believe Curt was going into this match with a serious back injury and basically retired after this match. He didn't make a TV appearance until November when he became Ric Flair's manager and didn't wrestle again until Survivor Series a year later when he replaced Ultimate Warrior. Of course that main event match at Summerslam '91 was the one where Ultimate Warrior demanded more money from Vince, Vince gave in and then fired him after the match then brought him back for WrestleMania.

Stomping Grounds is a perfect example of what not to do. Out of the blue you create a new PPV (because it worked so well for Great Balls of Fire), then you take your top four singles champions, all top babyfaces, and give them weak-ass opponents. Sure Alexa Bliss was a former Women's Champion but wasn't much of a top star at the time. Dolph Ziggler, though a great worker, was also not a main eventer certainly at that time. If Ziggler was going to work as a main eventer he would have to be in the role that Kofi was in as the underdog babyface not as a heel feuding with an underdog babyface. From what I understand Corbin was a Vince guy. Vince loved him. That's why he was getting pushed to the moon. And Lacey Evans was a failed experiment. She couldn't get over as a babyface, she couldn't get over as a heel. They tried her as the Sassy Southern Belle, they tried her as a military hero, and they tried her as a mom. Couldn't quite cut it.

WrestleMania 13, first of all, I love the logo. They started off this event with a 4-way tag team match, a year later they started with a tag team battle royal. That was still the time in which a lot of weaker matches were put on first to build up to the main event. I think that match was the death nail for the push of Doug Furnas & Phil Lafon who had been getting a big push since their debut the previous fall. Blackjacks should have won that match since they were new and trying to get over and WWE did nothing with the Headbangers anyway after winning that. The Sultan should never have had an I-C title match on any PPV. And he shouldn't have had a match of any kind at WrestleMania. And to put you're still fairly green and fairly weak as a character new I-C Champion against a weak heel is not a good way to get him over. Should have been Rocky vs Mankind. I did enjoy that 6-Man Street Fight. It was so awesome to see LOD back and kicking ass, plus I was a pretty big fan of Ahmed at the time. I do think, however, it should have been Ahmed vs Faarooq one-on-one to settle their feud and put LOD vs Owen & Bulldog for the tag titles.

 

[Jarf]

Money in the Bank 2022

Match 1: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Liv Morgan def. Becky Lynch, Asuka, Alexa Bliss, Raquel Rodriguez, Lacey Evans & Shotzi (16:34)

This was… certainly a ladder match. I will give them credit. As a match on its own, it's decent. Perfectly fine. But as a Money in the Bank match, its not good. I should be fair though. Not a whole lot stood out about this match. I did like that while everyone else went outside to immediately grab ladders, Asuka and Becky stayed in to fight. I feel like I'd be glossing over it if I didn't talk about Shotzi blowing 2 big, one of which could've ended horribly for Alexa Bliss. Raquel of course is the powerhouse in the match. She sets up a ladder between the table and the apron and teases this spot with Asuka for like 2 minutes. Raquel has Asuka in a Celtic cross position and Becky shoves them into the ladder. Asuka is laid on the ladder and Becky climbs a high ladder beside it and drops her ass across Asuka's ribs and the ladder doesn't break. But Asuka is eliminated for the rest of the match. Becky, Raquel, Shotzi, Alexa and Lacey all get back in. Raquel and Shotzi go up one ladder while Lacey and Alexa go up another. Becky pushes both ladders over and seemingly has a clear path to the briefcase, but Morgan runs back, climbs a ladder beside Becky's. Becky pushes Liv's ladder over, but Liv gets a foot on the top rope, and uses it push her ladder back upright, meets Becky with a knee to the face and climbs up to take the briefcase down.

My Rating: ***

Match 2: United States Championship Match - Bobby Lashley def. Theory (c) (11:00)

First off, what the hell was Vince thinking just calling him Theory? I thought it couldn’t get any dumber than Riddle, but he took away Austin’s first name away too and just called him Theory. Wow, I was not expecting a match like this out of these 2. This was actually very good. As you can imagine, this match started with Lashley using his power to his advantage. He just bullies Theory early in the match. When Lashley goes for a Spear, Theory curls up into a ball on the mat. Theory soon turns the match around in his favor after a hard clothesline. The match is pretty even for the most part from here and it has a pretty good pace. Theory at one point goes for the slide in dropkick, but gets caught in a military press, I thought that was pretty good. The finish to this match is really good too. Because I’m a sucker for people stealing their opponents finisher, and Theory hits Lashley with a Spear and then sets up for the A-Town Down, but Lashley lands on his feet behind Theory and puts him in the Hurt Lock and forces Theory to tap out. Very good match. I was pleasantly surprised because I legit couldn’t give 2 shits about this match.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 3: Raw Women’s Championship Match - Bianca Belair (c) def. Carmella (7:13)

So I guess Bianca’s original opponent for this show was Rhea Ripley, which sounds sweet. But Rhea went down with an injury so they needed a replacement. So who, of all people, did WWE decide would be a suitable replacement for Rhea Ripley? Carmella of course! By far, this was the worst match on the show. Because all it is is Bianca hitting all her moves and the moment Carmella actually gets some offense in, she wastes time by spamming the taunt button. She hits one superkick and Bianca kicks out. So then Carmella decides its a good idea to slap Bianca and talk shit. Bianca slaps her back and hit her with a KOD to retain. Then, as if to imply there’s gonna be another match, Carmella attacks Bianca after the match. Now, I don’t actually know if there was another match, but after the one they had here, why would you want to?

My Rating: **

Match 4: Undisputed Tag Team Championship Match - The Usos (c) def. The Street Profits (23:01)

From the worst match of the night to the best. This was a damn great match. I think people slightly overrate it as there was a good portion of the match where I was ready to fall asleep. But they pick up pace and the intensity towards the end. I think Montez might have made the “suck it” motion like 10 times during the match. This man was on something. The Usos keep Angelo away from Tez, but soon enough, he makes the tag to Montez and it looks like Tez is gonna start a comeback, but the first thing he does is come off the top rope and eats a superkick. And from here Usos hold Tez back from his corner. But Tez eventually tags out to Angelo who comes in and immediately hits a dive on both Usos on the outside. He bulldozes over both Usos on the outside and throws Jimmy in. Dawkins pounces Jimmy, who’s then caught by Montez who drives him on his back. Jey comes back in and The Profits hit him with a Doomsday Blockbuster. Dawkins covers Jey, who kicks out, and causes Angelo to make the most exaggerated “how’d he kick out” face ever. They try to hit another one and Jimmy saves his brother. Montez leaps over them both to eat a double superkick from The Usos. Montez kicks out. Jey throws Montez up in the air so Jimmy can catch him in a samoan drop, but Montez turns it into a hurricanrana to send Jimmy to the outside. Montez throws Jey over the top rope so he’s over by his brother. And then he hits the craziest over the post dive. Not crazy because it the execution of it was different, but because he gets so hype after he hits it! Angelo hits Jey with a spinebuster and Montez hits a frog splash and almost has it here! But Jimmy saves the match. All 4 men get up and get into a fist fight in the ring. Jimmy hits Dawkins with a superkick outside and tosses him over the barricade. Then goes back in. He and Jey hit Montez with a double superkick and then the 1D to retain. And in a bit of controversy, Ford’s shoulder was up when the referee counted the pin.

My Rating: ****

Match 5: SmackDown Women’s Championship Match - Ronda Rousey (c) def. Natalya (12:32)

I’m gonna hit you guys with a hot take, I don’t think Ronda was that bad of a wrestler. I honestly don’t. I just think at some point, she stopped giving a shit. This match in itself wasn’t that bad. I’m gonna tell you what I think of Nattie though. She’s the Big Show of the women’s division. Countless heel and face turns. On and off title opportunities that she always lost except occasionally. And just general fan disinterest. This match had some pretty decent wrestling in it though. The 2 of them worked fairly well together, it’s just that this crowd couldn’t give less of a shit. Ronda uses the Ankle Lock at one point and Natalya doesn’t sell it at all. She’s just trying to reach the ropes with a blank expression. She doesn’t look like she’s in pain. This match did have a nice touch I thought was sweet when Ronda uses the Sharpshooter on Nattie and does the Shawn Michaels’ taunt while using the move. Like goddamn girl, shoot for the Hart (haha get it?) Natalya at one point sends Ronda out of the ring and Ronda hurts her knee on the landing. That’s gonna be important here in a bit. Ronda winds up getting Natalya in an armbar and forcing her to tap out. So not a bad match, it’s solid.

My Rating: ***

Match 6: SmackDown Women’s Championship Match - Liv Morgan def. Ronda Rousey (c) (0:32)

And because Vince couldn’t be bothered to have any long term ideas with a women’s money in the bank winner, Liv Morgan comes out and cashes in her briefcase on Ronda. Even though she literally said an hour earlier that she had no idea when she would cash it in and just wanted to celebrate. Me personally, not sure if Ronda is the one I’d cash in on but that’s just me. Michael Cole and Pat McAfee go nuts on commentary for this though and the crowd is going wild! They want Liv Morgan. And they make sure to tease us just a little longer. Liv goes for a kick, but Ronda catches it and puts her in an ankle lock! She’s in the hold for a good bit before she kicks her other foot behind her into Ronda’s bad knee to escape the hold and then rolls her up to win the title! I wasn’t watching, but I had heard Liv won the briefcase and the title in the same night and I was like “huh, good for her.” But she was over as fuck so it’s a cool moment.

Main Event: Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Theory def. Seth Rollins, Riddle, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Sami Zayn, Omos & Madcap Moss (25:30)

Good lord, how were people still watching at this time? The match isn’t bad but this lineup is… piss poor. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great wrestlers in this match. But then they gotta cog the machine with Omos, Madcap Moss and the guy who ends up winning the fucking match. I know I was praising Theory earlier for his match with Lashley earlier, but that doesn’t change the fact that I fail to see why Vince thought Theory was main event ready. Theory also ended up being a last minute participant which rubbed people the wrong way because he lost to Lashley earlier and was now inserted into this match for the briefcase. And it’s weird that I have to explain to them that… that was the point. There are a lot of spots revolving around Omos in this match. A couple of times, they all come together to knock Omos down. Sheamus fucking throws a ladder at Omos’ back which made me yell “Jesus Christ!” Riddle goes on a tear at one point and takes down several of his opponents in the ring with strikes and powerslams and DDTs. He hits a Whisper in the Wind from the top of the ladder onto several guys. Omos is effectively eliminated from the match due to the efforts of the other men in the match. A Brogue Kick from Sheamus, Helluva Kick from Zayn, headbutt from Drew, Curb Stomp on the apron from Seth. Everyone but Theory pick Omos up over their heads as if he was crowd surfing and throw him through the announce table. Sheamus and McIntyre go at it in the ring and McIntyre traps Sheamus under the ladder and goes up. But Pete Dunne (I will not call him Butch!) runs out to stop McIntyre. Sheamus hits Drew with a knee and pins him under the ladder now. But Drew presses the ladder up and Sheamus crashes to the mat. He gives Dunne a Claymore to take him out. Drew and Sheamus go back up the ladder, but Sami comes in to push the ladder over and Drew and Sheamus hit the ladder set up in the corner! Sami goes up only to get pushed off the ladder and hung up by Madcap Moss. Rollins comes back in and pushes the ladder over and takes Moss out with a Curb Stomp. Seth has a clear path up to the briefcase, but he gets stopped by Riddle who hits Seth with an RKO from the ladders! Riddle goes to climb that ladder and grab the briefcase, but Theory comes back in and battles with Riddle at the top of the ladder. Theory shoves him off the ladder and takes the briefcase down for himself. And takes a selfie at the top of the ladder. I don’t know what Meltzer was smoking during this match. It’s good, but it’s not 4.25 stars good.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 6.05

My Rating: 6.5/10

It’s not the worst show in the world. Usos vs Profits was great. The US Title match and the last Ladder Match were good. But it does have its flaws that hold it back. That opening ladder match was solid. But it was also a Money in the Bank Match. When you compare it to most other MITB matches, it really doesn’t hold up as well. Carmella and Natalya as your challengers for the Women’s Titles? Really? You had nobody else? Oh that’s right, I guess they didn’t because they released like 372 wrestlers in 2021. And like Sky said. So. Much. Fucking. Austin Theory.

From one Austin to another, we’re going back to 1999 with Fully Loaded.

 

[Jarf]

Fully Loaded 1999

The main event of this show is Stone Cold vs Undertaker in a First Blood Match. So Undertaker jumps Austin and busts him open on Heat before the PPV starts. So Austin has to get stitches.

Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match - Jeff Jarrett def. Edge (c) (13:22)

Edge had won the belt in his hometown in Toronto on a house show the night before and here he was defending it against the guy he beat for it. Unfortunately, this was a poor opening match. I thought it was quite a snoozer to sit through. Jarrett wears Edge down for such a while. It's just so uninteresting. Jeff targets 2 different parts of Edge's body but that hardly matters in the finish. The lights go out, kinda, because they flash red here and there. Gangrel jumps Edge with the lights down but when they come back on, Edge is still standing with Gangrel on the floor. Jarrett brings him back in the ring. Edge hits Jarrett with a Spear and sells his shoulder. But it's not like it matters because Debra gets on the apron to distract the referee and Edge. Edge gets too close and when Jarrett pulls the ref around, Gangrel hangs Edge up on the top rope allowing Jarrett to hit the Stroke and win back the title. Before he can even celebrate though, Stone Cold's music hits and he runs out to give Jarrett a Stunner. He then grabs a mic and stupidly announces that he's gonna find Undertaker and bust his head open too so Taker can be ready for him. Stupid idiot.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 2: WWF Tag Team Championship 3-on-2 Handicap No DQ Match - The Acolytes def. The Hardy Boyz (c) & Michael Hayes (9:32)

This was actually off to a good start. The fight starts outside the ring. Hardyz obviously fly around a lot and The Acolytes are the rough brawlers. But of course, the whole No DQ stipulation is made pointless by them tagging in and out of the match. Grrrr! Jeff leaps off Matt's back to try to squash Bradshaw in the corner, but Bradshaw comes out and hits Jeff with a mid-air clothesline! I thought that was it there, but Matt makes the save. Both Hardys end up outside, leaving Michael Hayes in there for him to get hit with a powerbomb from Bradshaw and The Acolytes to take the titles.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: European Championship Match - D’Lo Brown def. Mideon (c) (7:11)

The way Mideon became the European Champion almost made me have a brain aneurysm. He didn't win it in a match. He just found it in a bag in the locker room and they were like "yeah you can be the European Champion I guess." What is this? Finders keepers? Can you disrespect a title any more? Now onto the match here which sucked. I feel like I say it every time Mideon is on one of these. I hate watching him wrestle. There was no way D'Lo could carry him to a decent match. Mideon lays on D'Lo for forever. D'Lo hits a spinebuster and wins with a Lo Down and we get a 3rd title change of the evening.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 4: Hardcore Championship Match - Big Boss Man def. Al Snow (c) (10:13)

A nice brawl. But that's really I can say it has going for it. There is a little bit of a story because Al Snow is losing his damn mind. Head got a spike driven into it and Snow has I guess been hearing voices since then. He greets Boss Man halfway up the ramp and begs Boss Man to put him out of his misery. But Boss Man picks Head up and smacks the spike in it which sends Snow into a crazed panic and the fight is on. It's your typical attitude era hardcore match. They go backstage and use whatever they can get their hands on including a pot of coffee. Boss Man cuffs Al Snow to a gate outside the arena and beats him down until Snow falls sitting against the gate. And Boss Man pins him by putting a foot on his chest and Snow's shoulders are against the gate and I guess that's good enough cause there's no way they thought this far ahead.

My Rating: ***

Match 5: Singles Match with Hardcore Holly as Special Referee - Big Show def. Kane (8:13)

Hated this. Hated it a lot. What possible reason could they have had for making Bob Holly the referee for this match? It really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. This match has one spot in the beginning and the rest is just boring lumbering around. Now I know for fact that these 2 were athletic enough to have a better match than this. Big Show presses Kane above his head and tosses him to the outside. And that's the only thing worth mentioning until the end of the match. Kane goosles Big Show and Holly chops Kane's knee out. Big Show hits the Chokeslam on Kane to win. Then Show and Holly both stomp Kane out. X-Pac comes in a with a roundhouse on Holly. But then Undertaker stupidly makes sure Austin knows where he's at by running out to attack Kane and X-Pac both. After that, Austin jumps Undertaker backstage and then busts his head open.

My Rating: *

Match 6: Iron Circle Match - Ken Shamrock def. Steve Blackman (4:19)

Another Fully Loaded, another Ken Shamrock match that doesn’t happen in the ring. Its funny the way that happens. What's an Iron Circle Match. Why they fight in a parking lot in a circle made with cars. Sounds cool but it's not very good. The most exciting thing that happens is Shamrock punches out a windshield. That's this whole match pretty much is they throw each other into the cars. Shamrock chokes Blackman out with a chain and wins.

My Rating: **

Match 7: Tag Team Match for the rights to the DX name - X-Pac & Road Dogg def. Chyna & Mr. Ass (11:44)

This match was not good. It's very boring for only being 11 and a half minutes. I can’t remember a whole lot about this match because theres basically nothing to talk about apart from the end. Mostly it's Chyna and Billy working on and wearing down Pac and Road Dogg. They keep Pac away from Jesse. The match begun to pick up in the final couple minutes. X-Pac gets the tag to Road Dogg. Pac hits a Bronco Buster on Chyna. Road Dogg hits the Pumphandle Slam on Mr. Ass to win the match for him and Pac which the crowd popped huge for.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 8: WWF Championship #1 Contenders Strap Match - Triple H def. The Rock (19:21)

Finally, a good match on this show. The Rock rushes the ring and the fight begins. Rock whoops HHH's ass around the ring before he puts the strap on his wrist. The strap doesn't come into play a whole lot for the first 13 minutes. Most of this match is just a big brawl between the two. Which goes into the crowd, at the stage and back to the ring. Chyna comes down to the ring and after The Rock hits a Rock Bottom, Chyna distracts the ref from the pinfall. HHH takes the strap off his wrist and faces no repercussions for it. Which makes me wonder what the point of the strap is because he never puts it back on. Billy runs out with a club and nails Rock with it. The Rock kicks out and hits a spinebuster and then a People's Elbow, but Billy pulls Rocky off the pin by pulling on the strap and eats a Rock Bottom for it. HHH recovers and hits the Pedigree to win the match and head for SummerSlam.

My Rating: ***1/2

Main Event: WWF Championship First Blood Match - Steve Austin (c) def. The Undertaker (15:31)

And we end the night with a good main event that revolved around them just beating the hell out of each other. Oh and the stipulation to this match was if Austin lost, he would never be able to challenge for the title again, so basically Cody in AEW. If Austin won, then Vince McMahon would leave the WWF. Not a lot of people remember that stipulation because Vince was back within a month. He's also on commentary for this match. These 2 just have a good ol' fashioned fist fight. Undertaker at one point throws the steps at Austin who was in the crowd. The area was clear don't worry. They also keep teasing this chairshot to the head and both men avoid it. Austin has Undertaker tied up in the ropes and Austin goes to hit him with the chair, but Shane McMahon runs down and fucking eats that chair. Undertaker escapes from the ropes and boots Austin in the face, the referee gets bumped and Taker plans on using the chair on him. But X-Pac comes in and spin kicks the chair into Taker's face. Austin grabs a camera and hits Undertaker in the face with it. And Undertaker is busted open. The referee sees it and calls for the bell. And this ending is just absolutely chaotic. Triple H runs down and jumps Austin, only for The Rock to run out and attack HHH. Undertaker hits Austin with the camera and busts his head open. A bloody Austin and Undertaker fight to end the show. Austin gives Vince a couple stunners and poses with his title.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 6.05

My Rating: 5/10

Typical late 90s Attitude Era PPV. Sticks the landing but nearly leading up to it sucks the life out of you. The final 2 matches were good but good enough to save the show? I don't think so. Really don't get how it's as high up the list as it is. Sure as hell isn't better than Backlash from this same year.

Hey ya'll remember when Rey Mysterio had his eye taken out? Yeah that was fucking weird.

But before I say anything else, I realized today marks 1 year since I began this thread. So to all my readers, I appreciate you because I wasn’t sure I would even get this far.

So I'll see you next time for the Horror Show at Extreme Rules.

 

[Chris]

Excellent work for a year

 

[Jarf]

Excellent work for a year

Right? It doesn't feel that long ago that I watched that God awful Super Showdown

 

[Skyefire]

I really like your descriptions of Ronda Rousey and Natalya, both pretty spot on. Yeah, WWE is too quick with women cashing in MITB. Iyo Sky last year held the contract for like 2-3 months and that was the second longest of any woman behind only Carmella.

Looking at Fully Loaded. I don't really know the full story behind Edge's I-C title win at a house show, the match is on the Edge: A Decade of Decadence DVD with him doing commentary and it seems as though he was told that it was going to be a non-title match and that after the match WWE officials gave him the belt. The Hardyz, from summer 1999 to summer 2000 they would go from Michael Hayes as their manager to Gangrel to Terri to Lita. I think Hardcore Holly and Big Show may have had some sort of feud going into this. Obviously that didn't last long as soon Big Show was teaming with Undertaker because why not turn him heel again. The whole "Mr. McMahon is gone from WWF" angle was just something for the fans to cheer for. There was a "clause" in the contract that said that only Austin himself could re-instate Vince, which he did, for whatever reason. One thing I must disagree with you on is that I personally think Rock vs HHH deserved a higher rating.

 

[Jarf]

There was a "clause" in the contract that said that only Austin himself could re-instate Vince, which he did, for whatever reason.

Because they never ever think ahead haha

 

[Jarf]

The Horror Show at Extreme Rules 2020

Match 1: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Tables Match - Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura def. The New Day (Kofi & Big E.) (c) (10:25)

A hidden gem really. I thought this match very well put together and well paced. Several spots revolve around the tables and they have creative ways of avoiding going through it. New Day set up a table on the outside, and set Cesaro on it, and get back in the ring. Big E throws Kofi over, but Cesaro and Shinsuke slam the table into the falling Kofi. New Day sets the table in a different spot and Big E. picks Cesaro up on his shoulders, looking like they’re setting up a doomsday device, as Kofi steps up on the second rope, but Nakamura pulls him down. Big E. hits the Spear from the apron on Cesaro to the floor just a couple feet away from the table. New Day set up 2 tables stacked up on the outside to set up the finishing spot. Kofi gets a final flurry in. He sets Cesaro up on the top turnbuckle, and goes for a hurricanrana through the 2 tables. But Nakamura kicks Kofi in the back and Cesaro lifts Kofi up on his shoulders in a powerbomb position and through the tables and we have new tag champs.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 2: SmackDown Women’s Championship Match - Bayley (c) def. Nikki Cross (12:20)

And even more of a hidden gem is this match. Matter of fact, I thought this was probably the 3rd best match of the night. Nikki Cross has her doubts she can beat Bayley, which is ironic, because I feel like that would’ve been Bayley just a few years earlier. But I thought these 2 worked really well together. Nikki hits her swinging neckbreaker finish early in the match, but Bayley rolls out and regroups. I liked the spot where Bayley trapped Nikki between the apron and the drape and wails her. Nikki goes under the ring to the other side, Bayley goes over and Nikki traps her now and wails on her. Bayley hits a Bayley-to-Belly and a superplex and Nikki kicks out. Nikki hits the swinging neckbreaker again on the outside. Nikki’s looking like she can do it, but Sasha slides her BOSS knucks to Bayley. And while the referee is concerned about Sasha and Alexa on the apron, Bayley punches Nikki in the gut with it and hits the Rose Plant to retain.

My Rating: ***1/2

So next match is supposed to be Apollo Crews vs MVP for the United States Title, but because Apollo didn’t pass his pre-match physical. (in other words, he got covid probably), MVP comes out with Lashley and declares himself the new US Champion by forfeit.

Match 3: Eye for an Eye Match - Seth Rollins def. Rey Mysterio (18:05)

Alright… First off, I will give them credit. Because Seth and Rey really put on a great match. They worked insanely well together. But I could not for the life of me get over this stipulation. How did they get this sanctioned? How is this allowed? How much weed were they smoking when they came up with this? So if you don’t remember the rules to the Eye for an Eye Match, the winner is the man who can get their opponent’s eye out. Yep. I would be lying if I said that at the time, I wasn’t intrigued, not because the idea was good, but because I was wondering how do you gimmick an eye coming out of someone’s face? Seth brings a pair of pliers out with him. Seth is in the ring, Rey’s music hits and he attacks Seth from behind. There’s some pretty good counters and athletic moves, but most of the match is them trying to stick a bunch of shit in each other’s eyes. A chair, kendo stick, broken off pieces of a kendo stick, and even a corkscrew. Seth is in control for much of the early going. He ties Rey’s hands to the ropes, but Rey lifts his lower body and from here wraps his legs around his head and pulls him into the ring post and from there, Rey starts making a comeback and he really starts to fly. He breaks the kendo stick in half and takes it to Seth’s eye. He hits the 619 and uses the Curb Stomp on the outside. Rey pulls his protective cover off the eye Seth already gouged and says “you’re gonna pay for it you son of a bitch.” And I’ve said before, I LOVE pissed off Rey Mysterio. He pushes Seth’s face into the corner of the steps, trying to gouge his eye, but Seth lifts his leg and low blows Rey and a hush falls over the building. (because there were people behind the barricade) Seth hits a Stomp on Rey and then pushes his face into the corner. The ref calls for the bell as Seth steps away to vomit. I was waiting for them to show the fake eyeball, but they didn’t show it, which makes me think they took it out of the original broadcast. So Seth wins a great match with a very corny, stupid stipulation. I wanna rate it higher, but I could not get over this gimmick match. The fact most of their offense revolves around the eyes slows it down and does the match no favors.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 4: Raw Women’s Championship Match - Asuka (c) vs. Sasha Banks ended in a no contest (20:12)

My rating for this match might make look like a hypocrite, because the bad finish doesn’t effect my rating for it a whole lot. But I thought this was a great match as well. These 2 worked a damn great match and I don’t think it was fair to rate it lower for the work they did here. This was a nicely worked back and forth match. Sweet counters between them. Sasha gives one right out of the gate reversing a knee in the Bank Statement. The first big spot of the match is when Asuka is on the apron, Sasha leaps through the ropes over Asuka on the floor and picks her up in a powerbomb position and throws her into the glass hanging over the barricade. Sasha throws her back in and hits the frog splash for a 2 count. They go back to the apron, Asuka knees her in the fact and looks like she’s going for a german from the outside back to the inside, but Sasha lands on Asuka instead in a pinning position. Asuka kicks out and hits Sasha with 2 german suplexes that Sasha takes disgustingly on the the back of her head. The match starts to pick up in intensity, with Asuka attempting another german from the top rope and Sasha lands on her knees. They do mess up one spot later where Sasha slips off the middle rope, but she uses it as a way to sell her knee. Asuka gets Sasha in the Asuka Lock while Bayley takes Kairi out on the outside. But Bayley gets in with a title, but Asuka kicks her in the head. Sasha grabs the tag title and tries to use it, but gets into an argument with the referee over it. Asuka accidentally mists the ref. Bayley clocks Asuka in the back with the title and pulls Sasha over her. She takes the referee shirt off the ref and puts it on herself and counts the pin and the match is over? Bayley grabs the Women’s Title, hands it to Sasha and then they just leave? Confusing as fuck. Dumb as fuck finish to a great match.

My Rating: ****

Match 5: WWE Championship Extreme Rules Match - Drew McIntyre (c) def. Dolph Ziggler (15:25)

The catch to this is that Dolph Ziggler got to choose the stipulation. And he chose to make it Extreme Rules for himself. If McIntyre gets counted out or disqualified, Ziggler becomes the champion. Drew starts the match hot, using his power and size to his advantage. But Ziggler throws a bunch of chairs into the ring and uses them against him. Drew rests his head over a sitting chair and Dolph cracks it off his back. Dolph tries to leap onto Drew from the apron, but gets caught and belly to bellied onto the announce table. Dolph hits Drew with the Fameasser from the table. Back in the ring, Drew hits a reverse Alabama Slam and gets ready for the Claymore, but Dolph sidesteps and smacks Drew in the knee with a steel chair and then hits the Zig Zag. Drew kicks out of it and both men wind up back outside, where Dolph superkicks Drew, laying him flat on a table set up earlier and comes off the top rope with an elbow drop. Dolph lays Drew out with another Zig Zag, Drew immediately gets back up and takes a Rock Bottom on a chair. But Drew kicks out. The finish to this match was at least pretty cool as Dolph was getting ready to hit the superkick, Drew gets up and Dolph runs into a Claymore. And McIntyre retains.

My Rating: ***1/2

Main Event: Swamp Fight - Bray Wyatt def. Braun Strowman (18:00)

This is really… something else. First off, it could just be because it's Bray Wyatt and I thought he could turn anything into gold. But I don't think this was as bad as most people say it was. Braun also said in an interview recently he wound up in the hospital after they finished filming it due to dehydration. So knowing that gave me a little more appreciation for it. It's just that this was really uninteresting. I think it could've been better if they had done a better job of building it up. Braun arrives to the swamp in a truck to find Bray waiting for him in a rocking chair. Braun walks over to him and says "I'm home." The screen goes black and Bray is just gone. Braun wanders off until he gets hit in the back with a shovel by… HIMSELF!!! (AHHH SCARY!!!) Then we cut to Braun chained down on a chair which I don't believe he wasn't strong enough to break. And it's basically a promo here between Bray and Braun where Bray was like "Braun you wanna hang out?" And Braun was like "no dude you're weird af." And then Bray was like "Fine but check out this snake." And someone brings in a snake to bite Braun. Braun wakes up again in the middle of the forest. He sets a guy in a cloak on fire and then he hears and sees a vision of Alexa Bliss and she's like "Braun remember when you wanted to fuck me? Come fuck me Braun." That would've folded me though, so I can’t fault him for moving towards it. He's jumped by Bray, but Braun chokeslams him into a boat and sends it into the water. But the boat comes back and because he's white, Braun goes into the water to check and Bray is GONE!!! Bray attacks him in the water and they end the fight on the docks. Bray whips his ass with an oar, but Braun gets up, and Sparta kicks Bray through the railing and into the water below. Braun looks into the water and says "it's over." But in horror movies, it's never truly over. They queue the graphic to indicate the end of the show… and after a 10 second period of nothing but silence that made me question if the audio on my TV went out, Bray emerges from the water, pulls Braun in and drowns him… except it's wrestling, so no he didn't. 2020 was really pushing the boundaries of suspending disbelief this year. AJ got buried alive, Rey and Aleister Black got thrown off WWE headquarters, and Braun got drowned. And of course, they had to end it the corniest way possible. Because we get an underwater camera shot and the water has turned red? It took me a second to figure out what was happening cause I thought it was supposed to be blood at first. But then I remembered Vince thought red lighting equaled "AHHHH SCARY!" So The Fiend pops his head out of the water and the show ends.

My Rating: **1/2

Cagematch Rating: 6.07

My Rating: 8/10

Now without a doubt, this was probably the corniest show WWE has ever put on. First of all, titling it "The Horror Show" was a dumb call. But I honestly think this was a good show. Every match but the Swamp Fight was decent to great. And it felt like they at least cared about this show as opposed to the Extreme Rules in 2021.

We end this show with The Fiend to the show where the Fiend made his debut. SummerSlam 2019! I can't wait!

 

[Jarf]

SummerSlam 2019

Match 1: Raw Women’s Championship Submission Match - Becky Lynch (c) def. Natalya (12:35)

The show starts with a damn good Submission Match between the Man and the veteran. This show took place in Toronto, Canada. So they were in Nattie’s home country and yet they were still cheering for Becky at the beginning. Ouch. But what’s great is that Nattie ends up winning them over during the match. This was just a very nice wrestling match between the two. You can tell they wanted to get the show off on the right foot. Nattie works over Becky’s leg while Becky works on Nattie’s arm. There is a sweet spot where Becky goes shoulder first into the ring post and Nattie puts her in the Sharpshooter on the second rope with Becky still in that position. The moment the crowd turns on Becky is when she puts the Sharpshooter on Natalya. Bret Hart is basically a national treasure in Canada and they made Becky know how they felt about her using the Sharpshooter on Bret’s niece. But Nattie answers back and reverses it and puts Becky in the Dis-Arm-Her. Nattie does get the Sharpshooter back on Becky, but she reverses that into a rollup and transitions to the Dis-Arm-Her. Natalya taps out and Becky retains after a nice opener.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 2: Goldberg def. Dolph Ziggler (1:50)

I’m 100% convinced that this match was only booked so Vince could see Dolph sell a Goldberg Spear. They make Ziggler look like the biggest fool on the planet here. He starts the match with a Superkick on the jaw and pins Goldberg. But Bill ain’t staying down for that brother. He Spears Ziggler, and finishes him with a Jackhammer. Goldberg wins. And then Dolph grabs a mic and pretty much says “I bet you won’t do it again.” And Goldberg goes back down, gives Dolph another Spear and leaves again. Dolph grabs the mic and again and says “You won’t do it a third time pussy.” Goldberg comes back out and gives Dolph another Spear that makes Dolph look like Shawn Michaels wrestling Hulk Hogan. I don’t think this match warrants a rating, so let’s move on.

Match 3: United States Championship Match - AJ Styles (c) def. Ricochet (13:00)

Underrated match here. And my second favorite (from an in-ring standpoint) match of the night. I thought this was a great match and was probably one of the matches I had highest hopes for. RIcochet does some insane stuff here in this match while AJ plays the cocky heel well. Ricochet at one point, walks and jumps off the shoulders of Anderson and Gallows to hit AJ with a hurricanrana on the outside! But Styles starts working on Ricochet’s knee and Ricochet sells it amazingly here. Ricochet at one point pulls off a one foot springboard crossbody on AJ! Every bit of offense Ricochet does seems to further hurt his knee. Styles manages to lock in the Calf Crusher on Ricochet, who bounces AJ’s head off the mat to escape it and then transitions it into an Anaconda Vice! The Straight Edge Superstar Ricochet?! Ricochet tries to go to the top rope, but has Gallows and Anderson trying to stop him. The finish to the match is sick because Ricochet goes for a Phoenix Splash and Styles catches him before hitting him with the Styles Clash to retain! It wasn’t nearly as cool as when AJ caught Kota Ibushi because… well I think AJ was already standing up when Ricochet jumped off, but still. It looked awesome!

My Rating: ****

Match 4: SmackDown Women’s Championship Match - Bayley (c) def. Ember Moon (9:57)

I believe this match hurt Ember Moon’s chances of ever getting a serious push on the main roster. It’s not horrible. Matter of fact, I think Meltzer’s being harsh with that 1.75 rating he gave this match. These 2 actually worked a decent match aside from one spot they blew. It’s just that the crowd couldn’t give a shit. They were quiet as a mouse during this match. It was a back and forth match, the only spot that really stands out to me was the finish. Bayley gets an inverted boston crab on Ember, which was something I’m not sure she’s ever done before. Ember Moon hits a sweet frankensteiner from the top rope and goes up for the Eclipse, but Bayley meets her up there and hits the Bayley-to-Belly from there and retains the title.

My Rating: ***

Match 5: Singles Match with Kevin Owens’ career on the line and Elias as Special Enforcer - Kevin Owens def. Shane McMahon (9:20)

In case you need another reminder of how much WWE sucked donkey balls in 2019, this was the same year of “the best in the world” Shane McMahon. My God. Thankfully, Kevin Owens was here to save us from the tyranny of McMahon… And Shane too I guess. When you think about it, this storyline makes no sense since they had KO cutting “shoot” promos on how much the company sucks. The company actively acknowledging that they suck and yet changing nothing. Before the match begins, Shane makes Elias the Special Enforcer, and that’s pretty much what the entire revolved around. Owens gets into an argument with Elias twice and nearly gets counted out. I legitimately remember Shane only hitting like maybe 2 movies. The rest is Owens beating up Shane, getting tripped and sidetracked by Elias. Elias slides a chair into the ring at some point and Kevin considers using it, but drops it of course. Owens hits a senton on Shane and a frog splash, but Elias pulls the referee out and Owens takes out both of them with a cannonball from the apron. He beats the shit out of Elias with the steel chair. The referee recovers in the ring and sees Owens with the chair. Owens politely hands the referee the chair and as the ref is getting rid of it, Owens kicks Shane right in his grapefruits and hits the Stunner to win the match.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 6: Charlotte Flair def. Trish Stratus (16:40)

I remember this match being better than when I watched it here. But this was still a very well worked and paced match. They tell a nice story that made sense given the circumstances. Obviously, Trish had not been in a match for a while, so they didn’t try to make her look like she was on Charlotte’s level. Trish gets a few good moves in which Charlotte has to kinda carry her through admittedly, but then Charlotte takes control and wears Trish down, just not taking her seriously in the slightest. And it comes back to cost her because after Charlotte misses a moonsault, because then Trish starts making a comeback and keeps Charlotte on her toes the rest of the match. Charlotte gets on the top rope, and Trish goes for the hurricanrana thing she did, but Charlotte catches her and looks like she’s gonna reverse to a boston crab, but Trish lifts her upper body so now she’s sitting in Charlotte’s lap on the top rope. Trish tries the hurricanrana again, but Charlotte lifts her up in a powerbomb position and Trish reverses it to finally hit the hurricanrana! Trish rolls Charlotte up and transitions it in a Figure 4, and then the Figure 8! Charlotte reaches the ropes to escape but soon gets a Stratusfaction for a 2 count. They get into a chop battle that ends with Charlotte attempting a big boot, but Trish dodges it and hits the Chick Kick which Charlotte kicks out of. Trish sets her up for another one, but Charlotte gets a boot in first due to her having longer legs and then puts Trish in the Figure 8 and Trish taps out. You gotta hand it to her though for coming out and putting on a good match after not being in the ring for a while.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 7: WWE Championship Match - Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Randy Orton ended in a double countout (16:45)

Now for the most disappointing match of the evening. I was really upset when this was over. I watched this show live and out of all the matches on the card, I thought this was gonna steal the show. Yes I realize my disappointment is my fault. But this had all the makings of a show stealing match. The story was there. Win or lose, I thought this would be the defining match in Kofi’s title reign. This match is the longest on the whole card and its by far the most boring. It had 3 spots. Orton throws a pancake at the beginning (I thought it was funny, don’t judge me), a cool callback and a sick RKO. But there’s nothing in between all that pretty much. Orton hits all the classics in this match. Backdrop on the table, draping DDT, all with this slow pace that is insufferable at times. Kofi hits Orton with the Boom Drop and calls Orton "stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" He goes for a Trouble in Paradise, but Orton catches him in a backbreaker. Kofi attempts a crossbody, but Orton catches him in an RKO which got a pop out of the crowd. But Kofi rolls to the outside and Orton goes out after him. But who happens to be in the front row? Kofi's wife and kids. Orton sees them and gets so distracted he doesn't even realize that the referee is actively counting them both out! Kofi goes into a rage, ref calls for the bell and the crowd starts chanting "bullshit!" Which I agree with entirely. Kofi wails on Orton with a kendo stick and hits a Trouble in Paradise and we’re done here. What makes this worse is that the WWE Title Match from the 2018 SummerSlam also had a non-finish including the champion losing his marbles over the challenger threatening his family. They literally copy-pasted from the year before. Jesus.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 8: “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt def. Finn Balor (3:25)

This is what I was waiting for the whole show. When people think of SummerSlam 2019, they think of this 3 and a half minute match. They think of the cool new theme song, the new look, the new lantern, the mask, the entrance, the Fiend! Now this was damn near perfect. If I were to do it any differently, I wouldn’t have given even a glimpse of the Fiend before SummerSlam. Secondly, I would’ve had Finn come out as the Demon. Change nothing about the match because I think The Fiend squashing the Demon would’ve REALLY made Bray a force to be reckoned with. Other than that, this had everything. The Fiend comes in, he basically kills Finn Balor. Finn manages to drop Bray with a dropkick to the corner and comes off the top with a Coup de Grace, but Bray catches him and puts the Mandible Claw on him and Finn just about passes out. The referee counts his shoulders down and The Fiend wins. The lights go out. The Fiend stands at the top of the entrance way with a spotlight on him and the lights go down again and he’s gone. Finn Balor tries to catch his breath back as the crowd chants “That was awesome!” And it was awesome. It still is awesome. Bray Wyatt, you are dearly missed.

My Rating: ***

Main Event: Universal Championship Match - Seth Rollins def. Brock Lesnar (c) (13:25)

And to cap off a damn good SummerSlam is this awesome match. I don’t think I’m alone when I say I didn’t give a shit about this match at the time. Fans started to turn on Seth because he couldn’t stop gobbling Vince’s balls on twitter. They had just put the title back on Brock which made me question why I still watched this company. So I was about sick of both these guys at the time. I was pissed that this match was even happening. But Seth was the lesser of both evils, so I wanted him to win. And I had little faith that he would. I was sure that Brock would walk in, Seth would put up a good fight, but end up losing. Now with all of that being said, the fact they got me and this crowd to care and get invested was impressive. Seth came into this match with busted up taped ribs because Brock murdered him for weeks. Brock starts off aggressive, but after Seth lands on his feet and immediately hits the Curb Stomp! But Brock kicks out. Brock catches Seth’s foot and goes for another german, but Seth lands on his feet again and hits Brock with a couple superkicks before going for another Stomp, but Brock catches him and drops him with an F5. And Brock doesn’t go for the cover. Instead, he wants to break Rollins. He picks him up by the tape on his ribs and swings him around the ring. From here, Brock starts to beat the piss out of Seth Rollins. Seth kicks Brock to the outside, and hits him with a couple suicide dives. He goes for a third, but Brock catches him and rams him into the ring post. Brock takes apart an announce table, but Seth superkicks him onto it and then goes in and stands on the ring post to leap off and hit Brock with a frog splash through the table! Brock gets back in first, and Rollins goes to the top rope and hits another frog splash. Seth hits Brock with another Curb Stomp and Brock kicks out again. Seth goes for another Curb Stomp, but Brock catches him up and goes for another F5. But Rollins lands on his feet, drops Brock with a superkick and then stomps his head into the mat again to regain the title… Which, yay I guess. It wasn’t on Brock anymore so that was good at least. I was really worried we were gonna have to suffer through another Brock title reign. Shocking result to end SummerSlam.

My Rating: ****

Cagematch Rating: 6.08

My Rating: 8.5/10

A great show in my opinion. I really thought this show would be higher considering that most of the matches on the show were actually pretty good. And it has The Fiend’s debut on it! How can you hate that? If it wasn’t for the pitfalls that the show falls into, the WWE Title Match being the most egregious, I would have it at a higher rating.

Keeping with the SummerSlam theme, next we’re heading to 2006.

 

[Skyefire]

It kinda sucked that Finn Balor was just cannon fodder for The Fiend and then took some time off from WWE before returning as part of NXT. I would have loved to have seen The Fiend vs The Demon. Two years earlier Balor and Wyatt feuded and were supposed to have a Demon vs "Sister Abigail" Match but Wyatt got hurt and we ended up with a personal favorite match of mine, Balor vs AJ Styles instead.

Seth Rollins title reign in 2019 was a disappointment as he was supposed to be the new face of WWE at the time, but I think he was greatly hindered by being booked into the feud with Baron Corbin. Lesnar's win and Rollins comeback was supposed to make Rollins look like a hero like a David and Goliath story. Of course it was shortly after this that he was booked into that god awful Hell in a Cell Match with The Fiend and everyone turned against him again.

 

[Jarf]

SummerSlam 2006

Match 1: Chavo Guerrero def. Rey Mysterio (10:59)

Now I’m willing to give this match some leeway because Chavo hadn’t wrestled in a few months, but that’s about it. I’d say this is one of their weaker matches together. Not very well paced or well structured in my opinion. Chavo wears down Rey for a good portion of the match. They do end up doing a double facebuster from the top rope, but that’s the only thing worth noting until we get to the end where Vickie Guerrero comes in. This was before she became a bitch and she went down to beg them to stop fighting. She slaps Chavo in the face while the referee is tending to Rey. Rey dives on him through the ropes. Chavo brings Rey in from the apron with a 3 amigo attempt, but Rey reverses and he ends up hitting the 3 amigos instead. Because this entire feud was about Eddie. Jesus, just let the man rest at this point. Rey goes up to try the Frog Splash, but Vickie gets on the apron, shakes the top rope and “accidentally” crotches Rey on the turnbuckle, Chavo hits a Brain Buster and then the Frog Splash to win the match.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 2: ECW Championship Extreme Rules Match - Big Show (c) def. Sabu (8:31)

Oof. What a mess of a match. Sabu was a botch machine here. He brings a steel chair to the ring with him and first thing he does is fucking throw it at Big Show’s head, jesus christ! He hits him with it in the stomach, hits the Arbian Facebuster with it, and then tries the moonsault off the chair, but Big Show trips him and Sabu goes face first into the chair. From here, Big Show just wears Sabu down. Sabu rolls outside and grabs another chair, and throws it twice at Big Show’s head AGAIN! Big Show drops Sabu again and tosses in both ends of the steel steps and also a table and it takes so long to set up this spot just for Sabu to botch. Big Show lays the table between both stairs. I think he was trying to jump on the table, springboard off the ropes and Big Show would catch him. But the table slides off the steps and Sabu has to set it back up while Big Show stands there watching looking like an idiot. Sabu just leaps into Big Show’s arms, headlocks him and drives him through the table with a DDT. Sabu brings another table in the ring, sets it up and goes to jump off it, but Big Show catches him and Chokeslams him through the table. Bad match. Just… bad match.

My Rating: *3/4

Match 3: Hulk Hogan def. Randy Orton (10:57)

But it’s not worse than this fucking thing. Jesus Christ. This is stupid as hell! Now I’m not an expert in reading body language, but it feels to me like Orton was pissed off during his entrance, like he really had a sour taste in his mouth. And that should’ve been everyone’s hint that he was losing this match. Because I would be pissed too if I was 26 years old, and was about to job out to a 60 year old man who JR mentions several times, has a torn meniscus, had a knee replacement and a hip replacement. The fact that this match’s cagematch rating isn’t closer to a 0 is fucking marvel to me! Because not only is it booked poorly, it’s also boring as all hell! Hogan makes Orton look like an absolute loser in this match. Just overpowers him. JR keeps going back to the fact that Hogan has had 2 places on him replaced while also having a torn meniscus. Like, Orton could not have an easier path to victory. Orton does hit the RKO, and pins him 1, 2, 3. But Hogan’s foot was on the rope and the referee waves off his decision. So Hulk starts to Hulk up and does the whole 2K comeback. Like Orton, all he had to do was kick Hogan in the knee. That’s all he had to do. But nah, Hogan has to go over brother and he does after a Leg Drop. I hate this match so much. This SummerSlam sucks so far!

My Rating: DUD

Match 4: I Quit Match - Ric Flair def. Mick Foley (13:12)

So after an underdelivering match, a botchy match and a STUPID! STUPID! STUPID MATCH! We have our first good match of the show. Thank God. I thought this was really good. I actually think it would have benefited from going longer if I’m being honest. I’m not sure if there was legit heat between them or not but I could believe there was because this was brutal. Foley pulls Socko out early and wraps barbed wire around, but Flair takes it off him and puts it on his own hand and uses it to chop Foley’s chest, ripping open his shirt to bloody his chest. Foley pulls out a board with barbed wire on it and slams into Flair’s head which fulfills his bleeding fetish. Foley brings in thumbtacks and body slams Flair onto them, and then a bat wrapped in barbed wire and he uses that on Flair. But Flair starts to get back in the match, Foley flies off the ring apron and his head hits the trash can. This is my one criticism with this match is I don’t like how they made Foley look here. Like, he’s tanked worse. The man took 11 chair shots to the head in a different I Quit Match. The referee tries to stop the match, but Flair looks at him and says “this is an I Quit Match, not a Lay Down on Your Ass Match. Get back in here Mick!” He goes outside and brings Foley back in the ring. Foley rolls through the thumbtacks. Flair rolls back in on the tacks too, but he doesn’t give a shit. He takes the barbed wire bat and drives it into Foley’s face, saying “you quit or I’ll rip your eye out of your head!” Like calm down Seth Rollins! Melina is down there, she tries to throw in the towel and says “he quits!” And she steps in front of Foley. Flair grabs a mic and says “she doesn’t quit for him, he quits.” Flair grabs the bat again and looks like he’s gonna swing at Melina, but Foley says he quits. And I’m gonna tell myself he quit for Melina’s sake instead of his own to try not to think about the fact that he tanked 11 chair shots and still didn’t say I Quit. Other than the weird way this match was booked, I really liked this match. I know Flair doesn’t like hardcore wrestling and all, but he’s really good at it.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 5: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Batista def. King Booker (c) via DQ (10:29)

So after a good match, we get a boring match. On most shows, this would’ve been the worst match of the night. This match sucked. At no point does it look like this match is going anywhere. It’s just boring and the crowd shits on it hard. Booker slams his scepter into Batista’s head at some point. That’s about it. That’s the big spot. Booker goes for a Scissors Kick, but Batista dodges and hits a Jackhammer, which makes the crowd chant “Goldberg! Goldberg!” Batista hits Booker with the Spinebuster, and then shakes the ropes, sets up the Batista Bomb, only for Sharmell to jump in and slap at his back or whatever. So Booker gets DQ’d but ends up taking a Batista Bomb anyway (where he sandbagged Batista hard). This match just stunk. Like I said before, on most nights, it’d be the worst of the evening. Me thinks this show has no business being this high.

My Rating: *

Match 6: D-Generation X def. Vince & Shane McMahon (13:02)

This match is pretty much what you’d expect it to be. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think this was a solid match here. The McMahons come out, they send out the Spirit Squad, who get their shit pushed in by DX. Then they send out Mr. Kennedy, William Regal and Finlay. They get more in than the Spirit Squad, but DX fights them off. Then they bring out Big Show. Finlay, Regal and Kennedy pull HHH out of the ring, leaving Shawn by himself to get bodied by Big Show. They tear apart the announce table outside and Big Show chokeslams HHH through it. The McMahons walk down, Vince says to ring the bell. And they double team Shawn for a while. I’m starting to notice a pattern with later DX where HHH would be taken out and Shawn would get beat up by whoever their opponents were. HHH eventually gets back on the apron, Shawn tags him in and the match picks up in pace. Michaels and Shane end up outside the ring while HHH and Vince stay in the ring. But Umaga comes down, kicks Shawn in the chest and with Estrada distracting the referee, Umaga gets on the apron and saves Vince from getting a Pedigree with a Samoan Spike. He goes over to Shawn, grabs him by the hair is going to give him the Spike next, but Kane’s music hits. Kane goes down and fights Umaga to the back, evening the odds once again. Vince covers HHH, but HHH kicks out. Vince, now pissed off, knocks the referee out, Shane grabs a trash can. They set HHH up in the corner with the trash can pressed against him. Shane goes Coast to Coast, but Shawn catches him in mid-air with a Superkick! HHH grabs the trash can, hits Vince in the head with it. Shawn hits him with a superkick now and HHH puts the finishing touch on it with a Pedigree. DX wins.

My Rating: ***

Main Event: WWE Championship Match - Edge (c) def. John Cena (15:41)

I remember this match being a lot better, but I can’t complain. It’s still a very good match to end the show on. A couple important things to note here, if Edge is DQ’d or counted out, he loses the title and it’s in Cena’s hometown. It’s pretty much set up for Cena to win this match, but that’s not what happens. And that’s a good thing. This is the same story where Edge went to Cena’s dad’s home and bitch slapped him so Cena gets off to a hot start, he lays into Edge early in. But Edge winds up wearing Cena down with rest holds n shit. But as the match goes on and Cena starts to make a comeback, Lita tries to resort to getting DQ’d. She slides a steel chair in the ring and Edge says “no!” and drops it outside because he can’t keep his title that way, allowing Cena to hit almost all of his 5 moves of doom. Edge escapes the FU attempt though and hits the Edgecution. Cena kicks out and Edge goes to the corner to try the Spear, but Cena drop toe holds him and gets him in the STF. Edge crawls over to the ropes as Lita gets on the apron, holding the title, but Edge says “no!” And Cena says “HIT ME!” Edge gets a hand over the bottom rope, breaking the hold. But behind Cena and the referee’s backs, Lita slides some brass knucks on Edge’s hand. Cena dodges a swing attempt from Edge and picks him up on his shoulders, but Lita gets in and she gets scooped up too, so Cena has both of them on him. Cena tosses Lita off, but while the referee is concerned about her, Edge slides off Cena’s shoulders and hits him in the back of the head with the knucks, knocking him out cold and retaining the WWE Title.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 6.09

My Rating: 4/10

This SummerSlam was… dog shit. Plain and simple. It sucked. It’s got 2 matches on the whole card worth checking out. The first 3 matches are underwhelming or just flat out bad. The World Title Match does the show no favors. So while not every match on this card is like that, it doesn’t outweigh the bullshit you have to sit through to get to it.

Next up is the third One Night Stand, which is pretty funny when you think about it. Considering One Night Stand is supposed to mean… nevermind. Next show is One Night Stand 2007.

 

[Skyefire]

Edge beat Cena in a standard wrestling match in Cena's hometown, then a month later Cena beats Edge in Edge's specialty, a TLC Match in Edge's hometown.