FWA 'Back in Business XVII' || Card & Discussion Thread.

[SupineSnake]

Match assignments added. Think this includes all the requests from members to sort their own match. V grateful to those members. If anyone else wants to take on their own match that would be awesome, or (speculative) if anyone wants to try their hand at a battle royale...

 

[Mandalorian]

The match I am most looking forward to is Jeremy Best and Krash. Both promos absolutely killed it and to grade I need to read them both again at least one more time. Dubb and Wolfie have absolutely killed it with this build up and I can’t wait to see how this concludes and where both go next.

I’ll not go for the obvious answer when saying what match is absent based on everything that has been going on and I’ll instead give a name of someone who I think should always be on show cards and that’s Uncle. Honestly, I’d have loved it if we were able to get Uncle vs Konchu in some way.

The commentary team should be all four commentators because I’ve already started writing my stuff with all four of them and I also have a say in deciding. IF it HAD to be two, then JLW and Price >>>>>>>>

I’ll not answer the last one because I’m planning on dropping some reviews next week so I’ll give proper thoughts then once I’ve read more.

 

[Rosie]

As per a challenge by SS, a little deep thoughts with Rosie post:

• Which match are you most looking forward to at BiB and why (at least one sentence). can't be your own.
  
  For this, I have to say the Buried Alive match is probably the one I have the most excitement for. Despite it being announced on the go-home show, it is one of the more longer-term builds and after reading both promos, which I'll mention after, I can see the result going either way.
  
  
• Which match absent from the card would you have most like to have seen? can't involve your own character.
  
  This answer is easy for me: Alyster Black vs Danny Toner. Take the scene from King of the Deathmatch, him returning and costing Aly his X Championship. A follow up would have not just been ideal, but a hype match after their barnstormer at Lights Out. But instead, Danny has his open challenge, Black goes into something with WP (I mean dragonperson is going to), and then there's this strange thing where Alyster Black announces "I'm going to be a CDW exclusive" but then appears the next week. Then gets the tag title match he wants the week after. Although the CDW show made that match make sense and FTN as tag champs was a big moment, I feel as though Toner v Black could have potentially been a straight-forward, yet still heated build. Things worked out in the end with an insane moment of a tag title change and the wonderful fever dream that was the Rawr and Bark off, but it also makes me think "What if?" What if there was a heated build between them, revisiting that feud and having it blow up at BIB? Would potentially be a contender for a Night One Main.
  
  
• What should the comms team have been and why.
  
  It may sound like a cop-out answer, but I wouldn't mind the idea of two commentators night one and two on night two. Thinking the Meltdown crew night one, Fallout team night two. If you want, add a guest commentator and have a play-by-play, a face colour, and a heel colour, because I think through my experiences watching wrestling, a four-man team is very chaotic and hard to flow. Even if it is written, that's what my head is thinking.
  
  
• Which FIVE (+) promos did you enjoy and why did you enjoy them? can be one sentence reasons or more. can't be your own character or your character's opponent.
  
  
  There's more promos I need to read, but there's some I have read already and found enjoyment from.
  • Jeremy Best: Krash and Jeremy: This is just a great yet chilling insight into Jeremy's obsession with Krash, turning from innocent to darker and darker. Multiple letters to Krash, him imagining them winning the tag titles, then a cold eulogy to end, playing into the stip. I think Best might be a contender for character of the year and that wouldn't be a controversial statement to make.
  • Krash: Para/Social/Site: This, much like Jeremy, was an engaging look into Krash's entire mental state with his death/near death experience and Jeremy's goddamn torture. It's gripping with great narration, not even needing Krash to talk much, but you just feel sympathy for him. You feel bad. Between both promos of this match, it's a masterpiece to me and it is a genuine SHAME that one of them will have to lose (or both get buried)
  • Trixie and Coven: Trixiana Jones: A fun parody promo with some great presentation (DANGIT! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE POSTED MY PROMO EARLY!, joke) and I think the moment which makes the promo is the "Who do you hate most?" moment, sort of just putting Trixie's insecurities out in the world (which I think the handler sometimes suffers from sadly <3) this is one promo where, if I "lose to it" yeah, zero complaints.
  • Speed Dating with the UX: Another trios promo I had a laugh with. Them being on "dates with the various opponents was fun. I think the only thing I wish for is maybe to see it expanded from slightly more. I think you guys only had half your word count, so you had room to pepper it with extra details and make some extra "pop."
  • Cyrus Truth: Exile Chronicles (Volume 5) The man who Tells the Tale: This promo I enjoy, almost loved because it is just a throwback promo to something that was common in most feds I've been in, yet just still grand. We have so many people go off the wall with creative story ideas (which is encouraged since it is worth one quarter of a promo score), but ironically, he breaks the mold a bit by going back to basics in a way. Just a character pouring his heart out, showing a lot of passion and that makes you connected to the character. He breaks the fourth wall a bit, almost saying "Hey, this over the top BS is a thing." But he strips it all down to the most simple part of the story, a man wanting to win his championship. I had several moments in this promo where I went "Oh snap!" with burns or just narrative points where I go "OH SHIT! HE'S RIGHT HE DOES SPEAK THE TRUTH!" Like, when a promo makes me yearn for nostalgia without even being there, a "simpler time," you've done well. Win or lose, fantastic work CT, and I guess I learned even with my match against you "You still got it," *clap clap clap*

Great work by a lot of people. I'm sure I'll read more promos sooner rather than later, but these are five of the ones I read and felt I could give some thoughts on.

Edit: I realized technically two are "opponents" (though opponents in a massive multi-man) I'll add a couple now:

Darius Wright/Death Walker:

First, something I always like is the accompanying of music to his promos. I think some auto storytelling can go a long way. But what I enjoyed about this promo was showing the connection to Darius, the "man" under the mask. The guy who is seemingly "dead" but just lays dormant. I think each promo from him generally has good to great development, expanding his lore which fits well in FWA.

Tommy Bedlam's promos: I'll just do general comments to the three, but I enjoyed them. The judge setting for the Western promo was a good start with it ending in a showdown at HIGH NOON AT THE ALAMO! HICKENBOTTEM! LE- Wait wrong place. The second felt just like him wrestling with the thoughts in his head. The last one.

Shawn wore a Houston Astros hat. Well played. For context: The Houston Astros in the year they won their first Championship were discovered later to have used a camera in center field of their home ballpark as a way to relay what pitch is coming to their batters. They signaled it with a bang of a trash can. Even if they won another world series with (hopefully) no shenanigans', they have been labeled as cheaters ever since.

 

[The ScapeDubb]

Match I'm Looking Forward To Most: Bedlam vs. Summers.

As many have stated over the past couple weeks (and even leading up to the reveal), this could've easily Main Evented Night 1. It's been an awesome, long running feud that I've enjoyed being able to watch develop over the weeks. I think we've seen some great character development from both guys during the course of this and capping it off with some mouth watering stipulations... can't wait for this.

Match I Would Like To Have Seen:

The Friendship Wrestling Alliance defending the tag titles...



But in all seriousness, I, like Beavie, expected Aly vs. Toner to be the match after Toner's return and the whole Fake Aly stuff. But I don't want to repeat something already said (yes, I already did, hush).

Maybe it's a bit of a copout answer because I know the behind the scenes of how we got to this point, but I think my biggest disappointment for the card is that I wish the tag title match had a little more development to it. I am not discounting the teams in it because they each deserved to be there, but for the last couple years the tag titles have been true main event level titles, including main eventing BiB N1 a couple years ago, so it's a bit disappointing to me that there wasn't more of a story involved instead of just a mostly random tag team match with a ladder thrown in to make it more interesitng.

What should the comms team have been?

I once again agree with Beavie - we have two nights of shows, no reason we couldn't have done Price & JL one night and Anzu and Sterling the other.

FIVE PROMOS (still working my way through them, but I'll highlight some here)

Tommy Bedlam: As I mentioned above, the build for this match has been awesome and I really enjoyed all three of Tommy's promos. I actually had his cowboy western theme the lowest of his three, which is not to say I didn't like it because I certainly did, but it's more of a testament to how much I enjoyed the other two. My favorite of the bunch was The Monster Inside Me because I loved the dive into Tommy's pysche and learning more about what he's capable of. We've seen some darkness in him in the past and this was a great way to dive into that some more as he prepares for a match for the X Championship. And circling it back to the dearly departed Bobby Ray was an awesome way to come back to that and again, remind us of what he's capable of. Then I also think his take on a Summers promo was really fun. I'd say the images in that one could've done with some resizing though.

Shawn Summers: Disappointed (but understand how it goes) that CBK didn't get to give us his spin on a Tommy promo because that would've no doubt been a lot of fun. But what CBK did give us was more of the usual really strong stuff. I'd say of the two, the standout for me was his take on the western theme and felt he really hit that one hard. Summers makes such an amazing villain that it can translate so well to any genre, and CBK captures him so well once again in the Old West.

Lizzie: Always have a soft spot for the Lizzie character, and I loved this grounded effort from AON, bringing a lot of fire from her here while also diving into some more character development as well. Knowing the torment she's had is an interesting mirror in a way almost to Krash's current situation to a certain extent actually. Similar to the Cyrus promo, I actually liked the more grounded, fiery content.

Keres: Keres meanwhile takes us on the high seas and, I have to say, Keres is certainly terrifying. The high seas adventure was a lot of fun and enjoyed the Dead Vessel metaphore throughout. The switch to the toddler Keres playing with her pirate ship and wanting to go play with her friend Lizzie was such a nice, creepy way to cap it off. Both of the promos for this match were nicely executed and certainly well suited for each of the characters.

FTN: Fuck these guys.

Unrightful tag champs.

But yeah, laughed a lot in this one. First and foremost, loved the 4th wall nod to the CYOA promos one of your opponents has such an affinity for. Legitimately laughed out loud at the first options especially. Then who knew a promo designed around Peacock figuring out how to climb a ladder could be so entertaining. But I also really liked that around the comedy was some character work between the two. This is still a developing friendship and I like the acknowledgement of that here and especially the continued confronting of the whole 'Krash' issue, especially after the developments this week.

 

[Cyrus Truth]

Which match are you most looking forward to at BiB and why?

• Krash verses Best. A feud born of a wicked heel turn, a year since the brutality of Krash and Ramon killing each other? Bring the violence.

Which match absent from the card would you have most like to have seen?

• The All-Nephews Apocalyptic Battle, where we finally see the Nephews kill each other in a series of increasingly amazing stunts until one is left.

What should the commentary team have been?

• Night One is Meltdown's team, joined by Uncle. Night Two is Fallout's team, joined by Konchu Hao in his absolute BEST tuxedo and mask.

I'll try and get some promos reviewed in a bit.

 

[SupineSnake]

#1 - Reagan Cole.

I'll start out by stating the obvious: there wasn't really a huge amount (to put it mildly) of focus on your opponents here at all. But, given the nature of the match, with a huge amount of potential combatants in the Trios Battle Royale, I think it made sense to focus on your own character. Character was where this promo was at its strongest, in my opinion: this piece really encapsulated a self-loathing attitude that I can relate to. It's minimalist scorn in itself is an astute comment on the apathy that often results from such feelings of inadequacy: Fuck Reagan Cole, as a concept, is one that cuts to the very bone of what it is to be alive, to be human, and to be insufficient.

It's important to remember that the Quality of Content category isn't just about match focus or even opponent focus. I always think the realism and truthfulness (lower case t) of a roleplay are important, too. The central thrust of the promo is one that I feel everyone can relate to. It's a feeling that I'm sure everyone has experienced at some point during their time in the FWA, elsewhere on the internet, or in the North-West at a GCW event. The universality of the promo is a testament to the writer's ability to evoke empathy and derision in equal measures.

From a presentation perspective, everything was spelled correctly and I couldn't spot any grammar errors (though I must admit, as I'm not grading this match I only skimmed the promo so there might have been some that I didn't spot). I also think an overlooked part of the category is how the words look on the page, how the letters interact with one another and the reader's retinas, as the information pours through their eyeholes and into their brain. I particularly liked the use of a 'curly c' and a 'kicking c' in partnership- the c-connection as it's known in traditional phonics systems. I thought words two and three were a little less aesthetically pleasing, but considered this to be a part of the writer's intent to evoke feelings of unease, anxiousness, and shame in their reader, something accomplished throughout the duration of the promo.

If I had to pick out some negatives, and I am being really picky here, I'd say that the promo was a little bit wordy in parts. I think sometimes less is more, and it's important to remember that when planning a roleplay like this one. Cutting one or two or even three words might've added to the promo in its totality rather than detracted from it. Also, it's obviously a shame that your two partner's no-showed.

Still, really good work, keep it up!

 

[SupineSnake]

As per a challenge by SS, a little deep thoughts with Rosie post:

• Which match are you most looking forward to at BiB and why (at least one sentence). can't be your own.
  
  For this, I have to say the Buried Alive match is probably the one I have the most excitement for. Despite it being announced on the go-home show, it is one of the more longer-term builds and after reading both promos, which I'll mention after, I can see the result going either way.
  
  
• Which match absent from the card would you have most like to have seen? can't involve your own character.
  
  This answer is easy for me: Alyster Black vs Danny Toner. Take the scene from King of the Deathmatch, him returning and costing Aly his X Championship. A follow up would have not just been ideal, but a hype match after their barnstormer at Lights Out. But instead, Danny has his open challenge, Black goes into something with WP (I mean dragonperson is going to), and then there's this strange thing where Alyster Black announces "I'm going to be a CDW exclusive" but then appears the next week. Then gets the tag title match he wants the week after. Although the CDW show made that match make sense and FTN as tag champs was a big moment, I feel as though Toner v Black could have potentially been a straight-forward, yet still heated build. Things worked out in the end with an insane moment of a tag title change and the wonderful fever dream that was the Rawr and Bark off, but it also makes me think "What if?" What if there was a heated build between them, revisiting that feud and having it blow up at BIB? Would potentially be a contender for a Night One Main.
  
  
• What should the comms team have been and why.
  
  It may sound like a cop-out answer, but I wouldn't mind the idea of two commentators night one and two on night two. Thinking the Meltdown crew night one, Fallout team night two. If you want, add a guest commentator and have a play-by-play, a face colour, and a heel colour, because I think through my experiences watching wrestling, a four-man team is very chaotic and hard to flow. Even if it is written, that's what my head is thinking.
  
  
• Which FIVE (+) promos did you enjoy and why did you enjoy them? can be one sentence reasons or more. can't be your own character or your character's opponent.
  
  
  There's more promos I need to read, but there's some I have read already and found enjoyment from.
  • Jeremy Best: Krash and Jeremy: This is just a great yet chilling insight into Jeremy's obsession with Krash, turning from innocent to darker and darker. Multiple letters to Krash, him imagining them winning the tag titles, then a cold eulogy to end, playing into the stip. I think Best might be a contender for character of the year and that wouldn't be a controversial statement to make.
  • Krash: Para/Social/Site: This, much like Jeremy, was an engaging look into Krash's entire mental state with his death/near death experience and Jeremy's goddamn torture. It's gripping with great narration, not even needing Krash to talk much, but you just feel sympathy for him. You feel bad. Between both promos of this match, it's a masterpiece to me and it is a genuine SHAME that one of them will have to lose (or both get buried)
  • Trixie and Coven: Trixiana Jones: A fun parody promo with some great presentation (DANGIT! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE POSTED MY PROMO EARLY!, joke) and I think the moment which makes the promo is the "Who do you hate most?" moment, sort of just putting Trixie's insecurities out in the world (which I think the handler sometimes suffers from sadly <3) this is one promo where, if I "lose to it" yeah, zero complaints.
  • Speed Dating with the UX: Another trios promo I had a laugh with. Them being on "dates with the various opponents was fun. I think the only thing I wish for is maybe to see it expanded from slightly more. I think you guys only had half your word count, so you had room to pepper it with extra details and make some extra "pop."
  • Cyrus Truth: Exile Chronicles (Volume 5) The man who Tells the Tale: This promo I enjoy, almost loved because it is just a throwback promo to something that was common in most feds I've been in, yet just still grand. We have so many people go off the wall with creative story ideas (which is encouraged since it is worth one quarter of a promo score), but ironically, he breaks the mold a bit by going back to basics in a way. Just a character pouring his heart out, showing a lot of passion and that makes you connected to the character. He breaks the fourth wall a bit, almost saying "Hey, this over the top BS is a thing." But he strips it all down to the most simple part of the story, a man wanting to win his championship. I had several moments in this promo where I went "Oh snap!" with burns or just narrative points where I go "OH SHIT! HE'S RIGHT HE DOES SPEAK THE TRUTH!" Like, when a promo makes me yearn for nostalgia without even being there, a "simpler time," you've done well. Win or lose, fantastic work CT, and I guess I learned even with my match against you "You still got it," *clap clap clap*

Great work by a lot of people. I'm sure I'll read more promos sooner rather than later, but these are five of the ones I read and felt I could give some thoughts on.

Edit: I realized technically two are "opponents" (though opponents in a massive multi-man) I'll add a couple now:

Darius Wright/Death Walker:

First, something I always like is the accompanying of music to his promos. I think some auto storytelling can go a long way. But what I enjoyed about this promo was showing the connection to Darius, the "man" under the mask. The guy who is seemingly "dead" but just lays dormant. I think each promo from him generally has good to great development, expanding his lore which fits well in FWA.

Tommy Bedlam's promos: I'll just do general comments to the three, but I enjoyed them. The judge setting for the Western promo was a good start with it ending in a showdown at HIGH NOON AT THE ALAMO! HICKENBOTTEM! LE- Wait wrong place. The second felt just like him wrestling with the thoughts in his head. The last one.

Shawn wore a Houston Astros hat. Well played. For context: The Houston Astros in the year they won their first Championship were discovered later to have used a camera in center field of their home ballpark as a way to relay what pitch is coming to their batters. They signaled it with a bang of a trash can. Even if they won another world series with (hopefully) no shenanigans', they have been labeled as cheaters ever since.

Good edit, was going to not give you a review and post the Wonka 'i said good day' scene.

 

[Rosie]

Good edit, was going to not give you a review and post the Wonka 'i said good day' scene.

Yeah, fair, haha. Still at least kept the comments since feedback is feedback.

 

[Bobby Barrows]

• Which match are you most looking forward to at BiB and why (at least one sentence). can't be your own.

Krash/Best, easily. It's the culmination of one of the best storylines going on in FWA at the moment, and I've been hooked on it ever since Krash came back. Such a shame one of them has to lose here, but it'll be interesting to see where everyone goes from here.

• Which match absent from the card would you have most like to have seen? can't involve your own character.

Alyster/Toner, could have been a really good match between the two and I think it has the makings of a main event kind of match. Feels like both guys really need a key victory here but it'll be interesting if we get this match in the future.

• what should the comms team have been and why.

Tbh, it's not really difficult to have the Meltdown crew be N1 and the Fallout crew on N2. Or could do it vice versa. Interestingly, I've thought about doing it in the Auld style of perhaps switching the commentary teams off each match, perhaps? Maybe add some guest commentators here and there.

• which FIVE (+) promos did you enjoy and why did you enjoy them? can be one sentence reasons or more. can't be your own character or your character's opponent.

Krash - Probably the best promo I've read this year, might even be the new gold standard here. It's this coming to terms with what he's been through, this possible brainwashing and manipulation by Jeremy Best. Krash continually going through these episodes of complete dissociation and blacking out is fantastic because this guy has been through, what I believe to be at least, a hugely traumatic experience. It doesn't just go away. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with Krash after this.

YDS - Talk about creativity. Between this and the baseball promo, Rosie's been on a great creative stretch. There are some good comedy bits in the promo but I do enjoy the main point that all three girls are equivalent to the Triforce, as together they can overcome any obstacle. I thought it was a very good promo, especially since this is technically FWA's formal introduction to Cali Hayama. Having her quickly talking about her ambitions and raison d'être works well here. Good stuff as always.

Jeremy Best - Spectacular promo work by Dubb. It's the slow descent from a deep fandom to an obsessive need for the "real" Krash that really interests me. Best has been one of the more interesting characters in FWA and this does feel like the culmination of someone's complete break from reality, kind of escaping into his own version of reality where the "real" Krash is still dead despite the contrary. He refuses to accept it, he can't accept it, otherwise, his whole philosophy is wrong.

Cyrus Truth - A good old classic promo from the days of Auld. It's all business, and I honestly really appreciate the basic simplicity of it. It's not a crazy parody promo, it doesn't have to be either. It's just a man and his wish to become a World Champion one more time. Always loved Cyrus's promos for nearly a decade, and he never ceases to amaze me how consistently he manages to put out banger after banger. I think my favorite segment is Cyrus's walk down memory lane, going through the many opponents he's faced in the past, and how it ties into the match with Chris.

Coven/Trixie - Honestly, similar thoughts to the YDS promo, a nice parody promo with lots of legs to it. Trixie is such a treat to read; almost too innocent or dim to really get nuance sometimes, meanwhile I love that the Coven are a bit goofy here. Everyone has their own little troubles here and it's interesting to see how they deal with them when they're by themselves. Each person has different responses, but I think Trixie got the most character development out of the three.

I'm bad at expressing my opinions regarding other people's works.

 

[The Golden One]

Which match are you most looking forward to at BiB and why (at least one sentence)?
Best vs. Krash has the longest amount of build, going all the way back to like Mile High of 2021 when Krash won the World title and Jeremy was in the match and viewed Krash as a friend (if I am misremembering, please correct me). Then the stuff with Krash "dying" at last year's BIB and Jeremy on a quest to find him. This feud has been brewing for more than a year. That type of long-term storytelling is really great and a lot of fun to see culminate in a very effective -- although not all that surprising -- heel turn, plus some other twists and turns along the way.

Which match absent from the card would you have most like to have seen?
I do think the fed deserves a 1v1 between Aly and Toner (I forget if they had one after the triple threat match). However, after Toner's turn on Rondo, I think I would like to see that match. I don't think we got to see it.

What should the comms team have been and why?
I'm going to give an answer that includes what might seem like hyperbolic and dramatic statements. Please know this is just my opinion after being in the FWA for 15 years, being a mod for 9-10 of those years, and being head mod for like 6 or 7.

I couldn't give a shit less who is on commentary. It means nothing to me. Most of it is filler. Truthfully. It's just "there" because it's a known entity in every wrestling show we've ever watched, but to me, it doesn't really add anything 99% of the time. Even when I'm watching WWE or AEW, it feels like background noise. I wish they'd talk a lot less.

That being said, there are some instances where the commentary adds value: a really major moment in a show, such as a significant heel turn or a cash-in, or a big title change. I can think of a few moments when I was on mod teams and we incorporated the commentary effectively (Ramon and Toner winning the tag titles is the first of these moments coming to my mind). However, I can remember many many other times of just "adding" commentary to fill gaps and it feeling very hollow.

If the commentary is just recapping what happened and inserting their predictable analysis, then I usually skim over it. Even when the commentators have personalities or alignments, it often doesn't resonate with me and I feel it could be less of the show. One announcer is face and the other is slightly heel? How revolutionary. Actually, I might pay more attention momentarily if all the commentators were heels and they regularly got into shouting matches with the fans.

It's the same thing for me with match write-ups. I haven't read a full match write-up (that I didn't write myself) in such a long time that I couldn't accurately tell you when it happened last. If it's XYZ's match, I skim to the finish and read the last paragraph or two. Any others and I just go to the result.

That's not to diminish or disrespect the hard work of the match writers themselves. They probably do a great job with every single match. It just isn't for me. I personally find most actual wrestling (like, the moves themselves) pretty boring, even when I'm visually seeing it on my TV. So you can only imagine what I might think of the written-out, non-visual form of it. This is why I prefer the most bombastic matches in e-feds at this point (such as a triple cage match, lol).

However, I KNOW for certain that some people read every fuckin' word of their characters' matches, and even every word of other matches on the show. I know this because I've had handlers PM me when I was a mod saying stuff like, "Hey, I saw you had my character do an arm drag, but he does a hip toss." Nothing wrong or bad about someone saying that. Just proof that there are people who are the opposite of me, who really do care about the moves used in match write-ups. For me, I couldn't care less if you had XYZ do 50 foot stomps and take a Cleveland Steamer on his opponent's chest.

To be clear, this is just my personal opinion. I don't know if I'm in the minority or the secret majority on these. But just answering the question posed as truthfully as I can.

I couldn't give a shit if it was Mickey Mouse and Napoleon Dynamite on commentary.

I'm gonna read and then make a separate post with reviews.

 

[The Golden One]

I'm going to try and read/review God-knows-how-many promos. Please know that I haven't read more than maybe 3 FWA promos in months and if I am missing a backstory or context, I'll try to keep it in mind before shitting on your work.


Tommy Bedlam (@Tommy Bedlam )

First thing's first. In my opinion, if you're gonna use a picture in your promo, then it needs to be impactful and have purpose. Using a visual for the title of the promo is different. It adds visual color to the presentation and whatnot. But if it's just a pic design of a human on one side and the Terminator machine on the other to match with the monster inside of me theme? I think you could pull it off with words instead of the image. I also think the quote was unnecessary.

Which you did! The opening part of this promo was very effective, with Tommy hoping he is in a dream state but 99% sure that isn't the case. The whole "look in the mirror and see someone other than yourself or another version of yourself" is an overdone gimmick in storytelling, but I haven't read it in a promo in a while, so it gets a pass!

Tommy caring for Randi and her perception of him during the opening of the convo with the monster is a nice touch. It adds some development to their relationship for me (again, someone who hasn't read any of the promos lately!).

The monster leaving and returning in the computer screen was unexpected, so another point for you! I like when I am surprised by the events of a promo. I was expecting this to be a convo between Tommy and the monster in the mirror. Also enjoyed getting the monster's background/context, although I do think it went a bit too long. Probably didn't need all four examples of when the monster appeared. That was a significant crux of the promo.

Everything else was solid but nothing mind-blowing. Seeing the match play out before it happens is not a revolutionary idea, but it is always pretty effective. I wish we had seen more from the actual match, maybe a real moment of conflict for Tommy as he struggles with whether to listen to the monster's coaching or not, a possible change compared to past interactions. I didn't get the Lucien/Satan incarnate thing, and it felt sort of silly/goofy.

The ending was fine. Solid. Overall, the promo was solid. It probably just needed to be redirected away from so much of backstory with the monster and more towards how the monster would help in the X title match. To me, that was the biggest flaw.

Edit: I didn't realize this was P2 of 3. I think most of my feedback still applies. I'll read and review the other 2.

Edit x2: Now that I know the rules for each promo: I still think you could've shifted the focus away from the monster's background to how the monster helps Tommy in this futuristic view of the X title match.



Lizzie Rose (@AON ):
I don't know what "insert promo promo" is. There's a "His timing is good" in reference to 2018 Lizzie Rose. Stuff like that throws me off my groove when reading.

I enjoyed the intro here to establish that Lizzie can take one hell of a beating, even when she was a rook. That's needed as I get a landscape for her BIB match and the probably violence in front of her.

Sitting in the arena prior to the show and watching everything get set up is not revolutionary or anything groundbreaking, but it is often effective. It's simple and clean. It allows for a lot of thoughtfulness and easy monologue'ing (new word I made up).

Which there was a lot of in this promo. Not a bad thing. I like the Divine Comedy analogy for Lizzie. I think Lizzie does a great job of building up Eternal and how powerful they are, etc. Same with Keres. "When it comes to Keres, NO ONE escapes her wrath. Try to run, and she will hunt you. Try to fight, and she will break you. Try to put her down. She gets back up. Put her down again? She gets back up. Keep putting her down? SHE KEEPS GETTING BACK UP. She will keep coming back, and she won't rest until she delivers whatever the hell she thinks people deserve." Good shit here.

Then flipping it around to the "she's not magical" turning point was really well done. This is a pretty classic "build an opponent up and then explain how you'll overcome them" monologue promo. It works. It's solid.

"Single moms, working 18-hour shifts for minimal wages, struggling to make ends meet for their family. A homeless man is trying to find a warm place to sleep at night. A recovering drug addict fighting each and every day to get that monkey off their back. WHAT ARE YOU KERES, COMPARED TO THAT?! I'VE SEEN PEOPLE BATTLE DEMONS SCARIER AND MORE POWERFUL THAN KERES AND NOVA COMBINED EACH AND EVERY DAY. How can I ever go back to Brooklyn, where they fight demons and monsters ten times more powerful than anything ETERNAL can possibly imagine and tell them I'm afraid of someone that bleeds just like I do?"

I liked this bit the most. Had some XYZ vibes here.

It definitely didn't feel (in present tense) like the goofy Lizzie who I've always known and read. In the flashbacks, there was some of it. Like the Ground Zero interview. But the present tense felt like a major shift, which is good! It really puts over Keres/Eternal and the match itself.

One thing/one criticism:
I would've ended with "Love you mom." That phone call was VERY effective. I don't think it was better than the ending with Lizzie walking into the cage. You didn't need to put over the match or the Garden of Eden "structure" any further than you already had. Ending it with the phone call would've been a really impactful last moment. Instead, the walking up to the structure and saying those lines felt a tad too much/silly.


I'll edit this with more reviews.


UA and XX:

I'm not one to usually review my opponents' promos, but I won't review Randall so this will do. The speed dating thing is a nice idea. I honestly have no clue who Xperienx Xtacee is, though. Regardless, he is pretty funny right from jump street. The Super Smash Brothers bit was good.

"The blow-up doll doesn't respond because it's a blow-up doll, and those don't speak." I chuckled.

Having the date partners be opponents from the match was also pretty good. I laughed at a few of them, like the furry and the clown. Monica with Nasty Nate was lighthearted but somewhat distracting. Anyways, this was just a light promo. There isn't much more to discuss in full here. Had some laughs. Good vibes.


Coven:

The presentation is a 100/100. The Indiana Jones shtick is a little "timely" but hey, that's fine. The presentation of the .pdf is off the charts great. I enjoy the banter with Blair and Celestia, and then Blair thinking Trixie can be a sacrificial lamb on the quest. The collaboration among two handlers is obviously awesome and I think this deserves an extra bump just for that fact alone.

"Trixie nods just as angry 'Nazis...' she says under her breath." LOLOL.

Good use of some of the opponents as obstacles on the quest. Damn, Celestia learns of Blair's plan and just lets Trixie go ahead anyways. I know we get some development here but the first moment was ice cold.

I think the interactions between the three of the characters really prop the promo up (aside from my initial reaction to the outstanding presentation). The quest and amulet story is good but it's not revolutionary or anything. The characters here (especially Blair and Trixie interactions) carry the day. Celestia saying she hates Blair the most was interesting. Also a good way of mentioning other announced teams to check off the boxes. Trixie saying she hates herself after all the goofy moments is very Lizzie Rose-like. Blair saying she hates Kleio was expected.

I had a feeling Kleio would show up at the end.

If I had any criticism, it's that I think I'd want to get reactions from Celestia, Trixie, and, most importantly, Blair after Kleio's little speech. Like, what do they think about what she said, etc.? I know there's a word count here, but that's what I felt was missing, especially after getting invested in Blair's feelings regarding Kleio and Trixie.

Would be a deserving winner if it did win.

 

[The Gipper]

Which match are you most looking forward to at BiB and why (at least one sentence)?
Best vs. Krash has the longest amount of build, going all the way back to like Mile High of 2021 when Krash won the World title and Jeremy was in the match and viewed Krash as a friend (if I am misremembering, please correct me). Then the stuff with Krash "dying" at last year's BIB and Jeremy on a quest to find him. This feud has been brewing for more than a year. That type of long-term storytelling is really great and a lot of fun to see culminate in a very effective -- although not all that surprising -- heel turn, plus some other twists and turns along the way.

Which match absent from the card would you have most like to have seen?
I do think the fed deserves a 1v1 between Aly and Toner (I forget if they had one after the triple threat match). However, after Toner's turn on Rondo, I think I would like to see that match. I don't think we got to see it.

What should the comms team have been and why?
I'm going to give an answer that includes what might seem like hyperbolic and dramatic statements. Please know this is just my opinion after being in the FWA for 15 years, being a mod for 9-10 of those years, and being head mod for like 6 or 7.

I couldn't give a shit less who is on commentary. It means nothing to me. Most of it is filler. Truthfully. It's just "there" because it's a known entity in every wrestling show we've ever watched, but to me, it doesn't really add anything 99% of the time. Even when I'm watching WWE or AEW, it feels like background noise. I wish they'd talk a lot less.

That being said, there are some instances where the commentary adds value: a really major moment in a show, such as a significant heel turn or a cash-in, or a big title change. I can think of a few moments when I was on mod teams and we incorporated the commentary effectively (Ramon and Toner winning the tag titles is the first of these moments coming to my mind). However, I can remember many many other times of just "adding" commentary to fill gaps and it feeling very hollow.

If the commentary is just recapping what happened and inserting their predictable analysis, then I usually skim over it. Even when the commentators have personalities or alignments, it often doesn't resonate with me and I feel it could be less of the show. One announcer is face and the other is slightly heel? How revolutionary. Actually, I might pay more attention momentarily if all the commentators were heels and they regularly got into shouting matches with the fans.

It's the same thing for me with match write-ups. I haven't read a full match write-up (that I didn't write myself) in such a long time that I couldn't accurately tell you when it happened last. If it's XYZ's match, I skim to the finish and read the last paragraph or two. Any others and I just go to the result.

That's not to diminish or disrespect the hard work of the match writers themselves. They probably do a great job with every single match. It just isn't for me. I personally find most actual wrestling (like, the moves themselves) pretty boring, even when I'm visually seeing it on my TV. So you can only imagine what I might think of the written-out, non-visual form of it. This is why I prefer the most bombastic matches in e-feds at this point (such as a triple cage match, lol).

However, I KNOW for certain that some people read every fuckin' word of their characters' matches, and even every word of other matches on the show. I know this because I've had handlers PM me when I was a mod saying stuff like, "Hey, I saw you had my character do an arm drag, but he does a hip toss." Nothing wrong or bad about someone saying that. Just proof that there are people who are the opposite of me, who really do care about the moves used in match write-ups. For me, I couldn't care less if you had XYZ do 50 foot stomps and take a Cleveland Steamer on his opponent's chest.

To be clear, this is just my personal opinion. I don't know if I'm in the minority or the secret majority on these. But just answering the question posed as truthfully as I can.

I couldn't give a shit if it was Mickey Mouse and Napoleon Dynamite on commentary.

I'm gonna read and then make a separate post with reviews.

Mickey Mouse and Napoleon Dynamite would have a hell of a team though, I’m assuming Mickey would be the play by play often asking the audience what they think the wrestler just did even when ITS FREAKING OBVIOUS MICKEY.

 

[Tommy Bedlam]

My first group of reviews just because I'm eager to post something.

Back in Business 2023 Reviews:

@Dubble J
Baxter: As I’ve said before, I love the BBB character; big fan, and love how you’ve evolved him over time. Really enjoyed the deeper dive into Baxter’s psyche, but I’m always a sucker for learning why characters are the way they are. The flashback to the bar where he accidentally hit Kris really clicked with me. As far as a critique, I think it’s possible that you could’ve spent more time focusing on facing Parr, but it’s certainly nothing that detracted from the promo for me.

Jeremy Best: This is probably one of my favorite promos I’ve ever read. There’s no critiques for me on this one, and I’ve already put it on my list of POTY candidates for when the award cycle rolls around.

El Vengador: This is the character of Dubb’s that I know the least about, so my take on this promo is minimal. I like how you did the whole teacher/student setup for a match between a coach/protege. The alternate universe stuff was well-done. Suppose I would’ve liked to see a bit more match-specific content, but I definitely still get where you were going with it.

Cyrus Truth:
@Cyrus Truth
If I could get a promo to come across as genuine and raw as this one did, I’d be a happy man. First, I love how you blurred the line, acknowledging that we’re doing vignettes, over the top scenes, etc. I like when people play on the edge of the fourth wall, and this fucking nailed that. You conveyed how much taking the title would mean to your character, and it felt like the words of a handler who wants to be back on top.

Lizzie Rose:
@AON
“But I know places that are haunted. Not by spirits. But events, by experiences, you can visit any place in history where bad stuff happened...sites of massacres...places where battles and wars were fought....if you go to them....you can practically feel the horrible things that happened there like the walls absorb it..."

Perhaps my favorite line from the promo. Felt like it cemented Lizzy overcoming her ditzy/cute/happy persona as she realizes that she’s about to step into something absolutely heinous that she’s never seen before. I would imagine it’s hard to develop a character like Lizzy beyond being what she is, and you did it in this promo. I don’t have much on critiques here outside of maybe you could’ve trimmed up some of the flashback scenes, but much like I said in an earlier review, it didn’t detract from the promo for me.

@Starlight Kid
Katsu (Singles Match):
The zoo thing is a really fun/creative play IMO. Obviously, I’m biased toward the horse and the jackass bit, but you know…I’m the horse, so why wouldn’t I be?! Actually had several LOL moments during the introductory parts in the zoo. “Crispy Co—” “OH!” was another good one. Overall, there’s no glaring holes in this promo, and I think it’s very well-constructed. As far as a critique, I’d say maybe the interactions with all the other animals may have gone on a tick too long, but it’s not detrimental IMO.

@Nostradamus
Keres
Holy shit, this was some good stuff. The whole Dead Vessel thing was incredibly well done. When I was reading it, I was thinking, “How is he tying all this into the match?” Then, BOOM! You dropped it on me, and it was great! Really quality stuff. I think you probably could have gotten by without the stuff at the beginning, but you still managed to tie it into the main part of the promo. Excellent work!

@Mandalorian
Chris Peacock
Holy shit, the levels of creativity in this promo were insane. How you took a guy who’s on top of the company and peeled back the layers to his own insecurities was top-notch.The way that you broke down every negative part of what makes Peacock Peacock turned a promo into a psychological thriller. I have no critiques here. Every line seemed to perfectly build on what came before it. Loved the interaction with Christopher and The Exiled One. Loved the whole damn thing, and I’m so glad I don’t have to cast a vote in that match.

@Solo Sikoa
Aka/Keiko
Details. Details, details, details. You absolutely crushed the details in this promo, and that made it all the more real to me. Down to the footnote at the bottom of a page that set up the dialogue colors for the rest of the promo, I loved how you got the “little” things right in order to hold the big things together. We briefly discussed how hard it is to tackle hard topics in a good way in these promos, and much as I suspected, you nailed that, too.

@Jimmy King
Jason Randall
I’m stoked for this triple threat match. In fact, it's one of the three matches I'm most looking forward to on this show. Love the build, love what you guys have been doing. The Fallout segment with Jason’s promo had me amped up for him. This didn’t disappoint. First, I love a good first-person promo. I tried to do one for this show and realized…I can’t LOL. I liked how you separated the opponents into their own phases, which I feel like allowed you to really describe how Randall feels about both of them. Could there have been a little more about how Randall feels or the fights with them? Maybe. I wanted more when we got to the end, which is always better than doing too much. More high-end stuff from Jason Randall, who (IMO) is one of the most enjoyable characters in the fed right now.

@Prison Dom
Reagan Cole
DUDE! I’m not supposed to review the trios promos, but this one spoke to me. Never have I read a promo that summed up how I feel so eloquently, so powerfully. Thank you. Thank you for saying what I’ve been wanting to say for so long.

@SupineSnake
MvH
I feel like lauding an MvH promo is gonna lead to me saying what’s been said a million times before, but screw it. My review, I guess I can do what I want. The way that you weave symbolism into these promos never fails to impress me, and this one’s no different. The amount of detail that you put into these things is top-notch. The fact that this is a retirement match has me incredibly invested, as I can’t really picture an FWA without MvH. When I signed up, she was the pinnacle, and with promos like this, I suspect she probably will be going forward.

 

[Rosie]

@Starlight Kid
Katsu (Singles Match):
The zoo thing is a really fun/creative play IMO. Obviously, I’m biased toward the horse and the jackass bit, but you know…I’m the horse, so why wouldn’t I be?! Actually had several LOL moments during the introductory parts in the zoo. “Crispy Co—” “OH!” was another good one. Overall, there’s no glaring holes in this promo, and I think it’s very well-constructed. As far as a critique, I’d say maybe the interactions with all the other animals may have gone on a tick too long, but it’s not detrimental IMO.

In the end, isn't FWA just a wacky zoo of characters?

And that is because- YOU'RE A FUCKING HORSE!

 

[SupineSnake]

Which match are you most looking forward to at BiB and why (at least one sentence)?
Best vs. Krash has the longest amount of build, going all the way back to like Mile High of 2021 when Krash won the World title and Jeremy was in the match and viewed Krash as a friend (if I am misremembering, please correct me). Then the stuff with Krash "dying" at last year's BIB and Jeremy on a quest to find him. This feud has been brewing for more than a year. That type of long-term storytelling is really great and a lot of fun to see culminate in a very effective -- although not all that surprising -- heel turn, plus some other twists and turns along the way.

Which match absent from the card would you have most like to have seen?
I do think the fed deserves a 1v1 between Aly and Toner (I forget if they had one after the triple threat match). However, after Toner's turn on Rondo, I think I would like to see that match. I don't think we got to see it.

What should the comms team have been and why?
I'm going to give an answer that includes what might seem like hyperbolic and dramatic statements. Please know this is just my opinion after being in the FWA for 15 years, being a mod for 9-10 of those years, and being head mod for like 6 or 7.

I couldn't give a shit less who is on commentary. It means nothing to me. Most of it is filler. Truthfully. It's just "there" because it's a known entity in every wrestling show we've ever watched, but to me, it doesn't really add anything 99% of the time. Even when I'm watching WWE or AEW, it feels like background noise. I wish they'd talk a lot less.

That being said, there are some instances where the commentary adds value: a really major moment in a show, such as a significant heel turn or a cash-in, or a big title change. I can think of a few moments when I was on mod teams and we incorporated the commentary effectively (Ramon and Toner winning the tag titles is the first of these moments coming to my mind). However, I can remember many many other times of just "adding" commentary to fill gaps and it feeling very hollow.

If the commentary is just recapping what happened and inserting their predictable analysis, then I usually skim over it. Even when the commentators have personalities or alignments, it often doesn't resonate with me and I feel it could be less of the show. One announcer is face and the other is slightly heel? How revolutionary. Actually, I might pay more attention momentarily if all the commentators were heels and they regularly got into shouting matches with the fans.

It's the same thing for me with match write-ups. I haven't read a full match write-up (that I didn't write myself) in such a long time that I couldn't accurately tell you when it happened last. If it's XYZ's match, I skim to the finish and read the last paragraph or two. Any others and I just go to the result.

That's not to diminish or disrespect the hard work of the match writers themselves. They probably do a great job with every single match. It just isn't for me. I personally find most actual wrestling (like, the moves themselves) pretty boring, even when I'm visually seeing it on my TV. So you can only imagine what I might think of the written-out, non-visual form of it. This is why I prefer the most bombastic matches in e-feds at this point (such as a triple cage match, lol).

However, I KNOW for certain that some people read every fuckin' word of their characters' matches, and even every word of other matches on the show. I know this because I've had handlers PM me when I was a mod saying stuff like, "Hey, I saw you had my character do an arm drag, but he does a hip toss." Nothing wrong or bad about someone saying that. Just proof that there are people who are the opposite of me, who really do care about the moves used in match write-ups. For me, I couldn't care less if you had XYZ do 50 foot stomps and take a Cleveland Steamer on his opponent's chest.

To be clear, this is just my personal opinion. I don't know if I'm in the minority or the secret majority on these. But just answering the question posed as truthfully as I can.

I couldn't give a shit if it was Mickey Mouse and Napoleon Dynamite on commentary.

I'm gonna read and then make a separate post with reviews.

Haha this comms response wins. Next week's comms team is Mickey James and Napoleon Bonaparte.