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The WS Mental Health and Empathy Thread
- Thread starter Bobby Barrows
- Start date
hell yeah you can
You've got this, buddy.
Just don't set high expectations of yourself. Cut it down slowly, maybe to 3 days a week in alternation and then work it down. I once had a personal trainer who told me that it isn't realistic to go cold turkey on a lot of things. I've taken that advice into a lot of cutting back situations in recent times. Set yourself a pattern and then ease back. That's my advice, anyway.
Just don't set high expectations of yourself. Cut it down slowly, maybe to 3 days a week in alternation and then work it down. I once had a personal trainer who told me that it isn't realistic to go cold turkey on a lot of things. I've taken that advice into a lot of cutting back situations in recent times. Set yourself a pattern and then ease back. That's my advice, anyway.
I don't normally post person stuff like this, but today is my mom's birthday. She was born 72 years ago today. But, this birthday is different than the previous 71. Because this time she's not here to celebrate with us. My mom passed away in January after a 4+ year battle with cancer. Honestly, today is the most emotion I've felt about her death since it happened. My brother and I are hosting a dinner in her honor with family and friends. We're doing it on her birthday and making it a "birthday party" because she didn't want a "celebration of life".
My condolences. Cancer is a bitch. My grandmother was around that age too when she passed a few years ago and her Birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I hope you and your family can have a good dinner and remember her together. We all grieve differently, but sometimes being together is a big help.
I have an update on this. Closure, if you will. Unhappy Closure though.
He pled guilty to 2nd Degree Manslaughter on a plea deal.
Prosecutors wanna hand him 6 years on a golden platter, and he took it.
I hope that you are doing better. I am a HUGE mama's boy. Part of my OCD has had me fearing my mom would die and I have had this feeling for nearly 40 years now. I am lucky that she is okay. But when she does go, I could not imagine how devastated I will be.
This is a quote from Penn Jillette when he was debunking psychics who claim to talk to the dead:
" We have nothing but empathy for the people who are experiencing the loss and grief of the death of a loved one. That guy who lost his mom rips my heart out. I'm a momma's boy whose mom died a couple of years ago, and I'll never get over it, and my dad died at around the same time, and I was very close to both of them. I loved them so much there isn't a moment that goes by that I don't miss them. Houdini didn't really go nuts busting these mediums until he lost his mom. ... Once a loved one has died, all we have is our memories of them. There is nothing more precious to me than my memories of my mom and dad. ..we do care about deeply is the desecration of memories.,,. All he will ever have left of his mom are memories, ..."
The reason I am posting this is because of what Penn said about memories. They are what you have and they are precious and hopefully they will stay with you forever.
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Are you still doing better, I hope?
Thank you for your post @KillerOrangeCat. I lost my grandpa 3 years ago and I’ve thought about him everyday since he passed. All I have is memories.
I am very worried about my relationship right now. We have been long distance for a while, but he is acting weird. He won't answer certain questions I ask, normally about my medication or more intimate things. He insists nothing is wrong, but I am feel like something is seriously wrong.
But it could just be all in my head. Kevin and I both have serious psychological disorders. He has severe clinical depression and I have depression, OCD and schizotypal personality disorder. Kevin often cannot sleep and at one point was awake for 7 days straight.
The reason I am putting this here is because this could all be in my head. I mean, he is very affectionate. But it is weird how he ignores certain questions about certain subjects.
Maybe the long distance thing is making my depression and anxiety worse. With my personality disorder, it actually is the perfect relationship. But perhaps it isn't for him.
Again though, it can all be in my head. I spend all day thinking and thinking and thinking. I very often project feelings on other people and I might be doing that here.
Does anyone else do that?
But it could just be all in my head. Kevin and I both have serious psychological disorders. He has severe clinical depression and I have depression, OCD and schizotypal personality disorder. Kevin often cannot sleep and at one point was awake for 7 days straight.
The reason I am putting this here is because this could all be in my head. I mean, he is very affectionate. But it is weird how he ignores certain questions about certain subjects.
Maybe the long distance thing is making my depression and anxiety worse. With my personality disorder, it actually is the perfect relationship. But perhaps it isn't for him.
Again though, it can all be in my head. I spend all day thinking and thinking and thinking. I very often project feelings on other people and I might be doing that here.
Does anyone else do that?
BTW Yes, I am a psychologist and I deal with mental health issues. But one of the first thing you learn as a psychologist is that every therapist should see a therapist themselves. It helps us to deal with our own issues so we can still help others.
So if anyone needs to talk about things, please don't think my own issues with have any effect on it. In fact, it helps because it lets me but my own issues in the back and focus on another.
So if anyone needs to talk about things, please don't think my own issues with have any effect on it. In fact, it helps because it lets me but my own issues in the back and focus on another.
Yup, I am 100% right. I am projecting feelings onto him that he doesn't really feel. I have a bad issue doing this with people. We talked about it and it really all was in my head.
This is a cognitive distortion called mind reading. I assumed that I knew what Kevin was thinking and feeling based off limited information.
Now, he did avoid answering certain questions that I asked him which was really weird. So I assumed I knew why he was doing it. But the truth is that I was texting him and we were talking about misuse of controlled substances. He didn't answer my questions about how he felt about that because we were texting each other and he didn't want that information in a text message. It had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship.
Mind reading is something I noticed happens a lot and it often leads to fights, depression and things like that. So it is always best to try and do your best to not assume you know what someone else is thinking... until they tell you exactly what they are thinking.
I have done this with a few people on this site. I assume I know how they feel about me based on limited information and I am usually always wrong.
Kevin and I are completely fine and had a wonderful talk tonight.
If we try not to mind read, we may avoid a lot of unnecessary pain.
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Sometimes we project and see things that might not be there.
Caring for someone opens yourself to a variety of potential heart breaks. I don’t think it’s excessive to get worried or look for potential signs of trouble.
Just recognize them for what they are, learn and move on
Caring for someone opens yourself to a variety of potential heart breaks. I don’t think it’s excessive to get worried or look for potential signs of trouble.
Just recognize them for what they are, learn and move on
So I took like a free assessment test on Brightside Health, for depression and anxiety. My depression score was lower than I thought it be. 16/27. But my anxiety one was really high, 18/21. Which doesn’t shock me, because I did have a doctor tell me when I was younger it was the worst case of anxiety he ever seen.
So now I’m hoping to find something affordable, because the plan they got where you get 4 video calls, and unlimited messaging is like 300 a month(299.99). There is one that says
“Get a personalized prescription and unlimited messaging and check-ins with your provider, all from the comfort of home.”
That one is only 95 a month. But idk if I could even be able to do that one. It sucks feeling so hopeless, and I wanna find help, but has to be something affordable. But also good. That doesn’t seem possible
So now I’m hoping to find something affordable, because the plan they got where you get 4 video calls, and unlimited messaging is like 300 a month(299.99). There is one that says
“Get a personalized prescription and unlimited messaging and check-ins with your provider, all from the comfort of home.”
That one is only 95 a month. But idk if I could even be able to do that one. It sucks feeling so hopeless, and I wanna find help, but has to be something affordable. But also good. That doesn’t seem possible
Thats a hard choice to make. I hate you are in that position.
My opinion would be that something is better than nothing and get the most affordable. Putting off getting help isn't something I'd reccomend. I did it for 20 years and really wish I'd have started tending my mental health sooner.
My opinion would be that something is better than nothing and get the most affordable. Putting off getting help isn't something I'd reccomend. I did it for 20 years and really wish I'd have started tending my mental health sooner.